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P*ssed off with ex and Xmas! (long, sorry)

3 replies

mmrred · 11/12/2009 21:07

Am feeling a bit down this evening about Christmas and DSS. Current order for contact over Xmas is that X has 24th, 25th, 26th every year, and we have 27th and 28th. (There are mental health issues plus DH was trying desparately to compromise to shorten court proceedings when he agreed to it) plus 2 extra days contact to be arranged. This is always a nightmare, every holiday as X tries to avoid it, leaves it as late as she can etc.

This year we asked for her ideas for possible dates before half-term. As a blended family there's a lot of people who have to be considered - DD's Dad and family, my parents, DH's parents - all of whom have their own wider families and commitments. Anyway, she wouldn't respond so at the beginning of December we told DH's Mum to go ahead and sort out her annual family party at the convenience of everyone else (4 brothers and sisters at various different sides of the country)and that turned out to be 29th - 30th.

We asked X if we could have the two days extra contact then (bearing in mind this is the only chance DSS will get to see some of his family for this year) and she has turned it down - not because she has something else planned, but because 'it's bad enough DSS is with us at Xmas at all'.

It just feels that we never get any further with this. She also told DH that DSS had only been able to attend 20 minutes of his cousin's birthday party recently because he 'had to come' to see us (which she told DSS) but she didn't ask us if he could come later or change it, because DH had insisted on a defined contact order.

AAARGH.

OP posts:
ElenorRigby · 12/12/2009 06:44

You have your DSS the 27th and 28th anyway. Just keep him until the 30th. The court order states 2 extra days. She has given no valid reason for you not to have DSS for those days. Just keep him.

Btw I feel your pain. We've had a right load of crap this and last Christmas due to a poorly written court order regarding the Christmas arrangements. It's not been resolved again this year and so will be going back to court next year. Ho Ho Ho

mrsjammi · 12/12/2009 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mmrred · 16/12/2009 19:57

If we just kept him she would without question call the police and claim we have abducted him - she has threatened to do so before when DH drove out of the street the wrong way - and it's not worth the upset this would cause DSS who has to live with it all.

We've written her a letter saying DH is disappointed and that the current holiday arrangements are not satisfactory and that unless she objects for some reason, DH will organise for a mediator to contact her in the New Year.

TBH I think we'll have to head back to court but I'd rather cope with that than have DSS let down.

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