Yerblurt/ Elenor are either of you about??

[prettyfly1]

Just a quick one guys - how does my partner go about applying for an interim contact order for his son - mum is now completely hell bent on being as destructive as possible (too many reasons to even begin to list here) and dh has had enough and wants when and how he sees his son put in writing to stop the endless calls and texts of abuse and grief (he has fifty percent custody normally btw) from her and her family.

I know you guys have experience in this field so if you could point us in the right direction that would be great.

P.S do you know if there is a fathers for families branch in herts??

Hi I was just having a quick nose around this topic. I can't help with the first part of your query but this is the link to families need fathers branch locations. Hope it helps and you get the info you need

Hey squashed - thanks - thats tomorrow night for us which is great!!

Hey prettyfly sorry just found your post. Will point MrBlurt here

Applying to Court for an Interim Contact Order is the easy part.

The form is a C100 form which is a form for all applications under section 8 of the Children Act (1989). "section 8" orders include - residence (sole and shared residence), contact order, prohibitive steps order, specific issue order.

If there has been a shared care parenting arrangement in operation for a reasonable amount of time (6 months or more) then I see no reason why your partner should not apply for a Shared Residence Order.

Available by searching here:
www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/HMCSCourtFinder/FormFinder.do

If your partner does not have Parental Responsibility (PR) then he will need to apply for this too on a C1 form. He will have PR if he was married to the ex or is named as father on the birth certificate and the birth was registered after Dec 1 2003.

The cost for the application is £175. You will need to file 4 copies of the forms to Court (one for you, one for the ex, one for the Court and one for CAFCASS).

It's a bit premature at first because there is some further information I would be grateful for;

1. How old is the child
2. What is the normal parenting schedule week-to-week (you said 50:50)
3. What happens for holidays
4. How long has the parenting schedule been in existence.
5. How far away does the ex live
6. Are the CSA involved at all. Does dad pay child maintenance and if so does he keep a record of it (i.e. cheque/standing order).

Re. the abusive calls texts - keep a log of these. Keep all texts, consider starting to record any telephone calls (or even better ignore them!).

Get along to your local family liaison officer at the police station and get this recorded. It is domestic abuse. At least get it logged and recorded.

Keep a diary of EVERYTHING that happens from now on. Start thinking about producing a chronology of events - because the ex will try and change the parenting schedule and bring out all sorts of nonsense.

Before making an application to Court you should consider Family Mediation - it's an essential step and the Courts will expect you to explore this first. Look up the local family mediation services and get the ball rolling on that first.

Get along to your local FNF branch and GET ADVICE.

You should consider joining FNF as there is a really good bulletin board full of advice and support.

Consider using a solicitor as a last resort - they are very expensive and usually mess things up! Hopefully there will be an available McKenzie friend via your local FNF branch.

Post back on here for any other advice needed!

Yerblurt - you are amazing - thanks. xx

No problem.

Post up some further information about the parenting situation/routine first before considering Court action.

It can't hurt to get the forms and have a look through them.

DO get advice first - get to your FNF meeting and explore mediation first. Court is something not to be taken lightly.

Yeah he went down there this week and I think just knowing its not just him really helped. He is trying frantically to keep it all calm for the sake of his son but I know its getting very, very difficult and she did the same thing to the father of her first son, dragging him through the courts and making up all sorts.

The boy is six, nearly seven, has been fifty fifty shared for two years and whilst he doesnt pay set "maintenance" he pays for school dinners, buys his uniform and clothes for when here and she gets all benefits. Fifty/fifty means two week nights and every other weekend from friday post school to monday morning. Week on, week off through the hols. Ex is fairly close - just moved but is still about twenty miles away so it hasnt stopped commute to school etc ever.

Well if there has been this parenting schedule for TWO YEARS then it would be very disruptive to change this. 2 years for a 7 year old (my daughter is 7) is a long time for them.

It reflects the reality of the child's life (case law supports this)

This is the status quo of the child's life, the child is secure and used to this parenting routine (case law and children act welfare checklist support this)

To change this parenting arrangement (which has been mutually agreed) would be disruptive and should ONLY happen by either agreement between the parties and/or expert evidence (e.g. cafcass report) (children act welfare checklist)

The child maintenance WILL come up. However, if the ex has not been requesting it and father incurs significant financial costs (costs of extra room at home), plus he is paying for school dinners/uniforms etc and the ex received all benefits then she can't be complaining too much.

When she brings it up (as she will do) at Court/Mediation then contact and finances are completely separate and there is NO link.

If there are issues of child maintenance then I presume your partner is more than happy to come up with a private arrangement, paying the ex directly by standing order to her bank account (SO to be labelled "Child Maintenance for ) at CSA levels, using the CSA calculator ... or the ex is free to make an application to the CSA itself. Remember that CSA monies cover all everyday living costs so the ex (or rather the child) will miss out - because everyday living costs include: school meals, school uniforms etc. Why should the child suffer? Crazy, but my ex did this too.

keep strong, you've got a good support network at the FNF meetings. Get along yourself too because there is an "unseen" support network of partners and grandparents and they suffer through all of this too. Often in silence.

If you want to email me feel free;
jitsuka@hotmail . com

Hi Yerblurt - if you dont mind I will get partner to mail you - she is really pushing him and is doing things that are actually dangerous with the child (like buying him a brand new computer, desk and chair three weeks ahead of his birthday and putting them in his room so he can surf the net with his friends in private - WTF - who does that? Puts their child at such high risk of grooming with NO parental supervision at six, nearly seven?? This from a woman with no job, who lives in a house her mother bought her, who keeps telling us she is broke. Watching DH cry because he was really looking forward to seeing his son and he could hear her in the background whispering "tell daddy you dont want to see him at prettyflys house" then getting a solicitors letter this morning saying its because dss doesnt like me (of course he doesnt he wanted mummy and daddy to get back together and she informed him the only way that would happen is if he was not with me any more) is really REALLY hard so spending time with some people who understand will do him the world of good. She has asked for mediation - for something he already agreed to - to get him to promise that despite fifty percent custody he will never leave ds alone with me. If I had beaten him, or hurt him or shouted at him I would understand it but I havent, I spent ages doing things like pumpkin carving and baking with him last time I saw him and he was really happy so I just dont get it.

I really think she has pas - this has all come up within days of me giving birth to our second child and she told him two weeks ago that she would NEVER let him be happy with me - looks like she meant it.

We really appreciate you taking the time to put such valuable information up thank you. Hopefully the organisation will be able to support him as well. Sorry for rant - just so frustrated that she is putting this child through this, which she also did to her first child who no longer sees his daddy because he couldnt take any more of it. And putting my dp who has never been anything but an amazing, involved, kind parent who always puts his son first. This is hurting him so much and it is just so incredibly hard to watch and not get involved in.