DH's ex has said we are to have DSD lots this Summer....

[BeehiveBaby]

....which is fantastic and something we have been pressing for for years (but not at the expense of DSD's wishes). However, DP's ex had made it quite clear that it is only on the table because she and DSD (her DD, I mean) are getting on so badly and she needs her out of her hair. AIBU to feel very miffed by this? Also, she won't give us enough notice for DH to get much leave, if any, so it will be me at home with DSD (13) and the little DDs.

I am terrified, I find entertaining teens so expensive too and impossible to do at the same time as toddlers. I don't want DSD to feel palmed off, but I don't know how much she likes it here (although I now know that she acts like she doesn't like it 'at home' which makes me feel better). It is to easy to let her play on the computer and read Manga all day. Should I insist on a summer school? We are in a big city and there's lots on offer...art, theatre etc. She is so apathetic though.

Just off loading really....any advice for getting on in the house with a big age gap?

Unless it is a non-residential summer school in which case she might find it fun and she could meet new friends. Ask her how she likes the idea.

Just wanted to say you sound like a lovely stepmum and I think with such good intentions in your heart you are already off to a great start. This summer may be tough and so may a fair few more but because YOU are being caring and understanding in the decades to come, she will understand and appreciate that.

Just focus on the long game when you want to scream!

Hi op - i think you have made a great start and its good you care so much. I would be nervous too but like you this summer I am looking at activities for my step child to do, whcih will be balanced with days out etc.

Bonsoir your attitude is a bit scary too be honest. Your partner and his ex may be divorced but they will never seperate as parents and for the good of the children it is recognised that a supportive relationship between the two is far better then such clinical boundaries - it doesnt always work that way but that sounds more like new partner insecurity forced rules then for the benefit of the children boundaries. I wouldnt want my partner to have social contact with the ex and have asked him not too but we support her as much as possible and have no intention of changing - I would rather dss were here with one of his natural parents and his siblings then with someone he barely knows for the sake of proving a point about boundaries and rules. Not very nice.