The lengths some absent parents will go to in order to avoid supporting their children!

[terrier141]

I am posting here as both a parent and a step parent - i hope you dont mind. I guess it will get a mix of responses - and believe me as someone who has 2 families I can see both sides - but you will tell from this which one im fighting for!

I split form my ex dh almost 7 years ago (we have 2 dc's together). I have never received a penny in financial support/maintainence in all these years. He just doesnt work. He is now married again to someone with 3 dc's of her own and the have a dc together and one on the way. She has never worked either. She has asked me to send "spending money" with my dc's when they visit their dad!
I can understand that they have a large family but cant see why that should mean he doesnt contibute anything to our dc's - after all they are equal (and infact his wifes 3 dc's all have other fathers too - who should support them!).
I also have 2 families to support as my dh has 2dc's also - so we pay mainatence for these, aswell as buying clothes etc for them at our house (we treat the 4 children - mine and dh's the same).

Now my ex dh has said that he will not work ever, but that when his wife has had their latest baby - then she will get a job - because it will mean they can improve their families lifetyle without having to contribute towards our children! We are struggling too - and both myself and my dh both work!

What a shit he is.

He is a total knobber.

My ex went home to Australia and thought he'd never have to pay. I just wish I'd been there to see the look on his face when he was recently ordered to pay for our DD

I think guys who won't pay are the lowest of the low.

My DP loves his first DD so much has always financially and practically (despite his ex's blocking) supported his beloved DD.
His ex however always puts herself first whilst neglecting their DD.

What a fuckwit. Sounds like your ex and hos DP desrve each other. Feel for you DCs though -how old are they?

He sounds like a prat and tbh whilst it isnt much comfort now, your kids will know he is a loser one day and wont think anything at all of him. Staying of work forever - DXCK.

And seriously - she asks you to send spending money. That is a joke. I am stepmum to a six year old whose mother constantly wants more money off ME so am on the other side, but I would never dream of telling her to send him with money - that is our responsibility.

Thanks everyone - I really like other people telling me what a twat he is - I find it quite soothing! My dc's are 7 and 9 and already think he is a loser (I dont make my views of him known to them btw - dont think thats fair). They really dont want to see him as he takes no interest in them at all - doesnt go to school concerts or parents evenings or football matches - doesnt phone them (the kids havent even got his number!)-sod all. Unfortunately the courts (for which he got LEGAL AID!) have said that they have to go every other weekend from fri-sun and longer during school holidays. He recently didnt have them on HIS weekend as he was spending a weeks holiday away with his large family and couldnt afford to take my children! Who decided that my 2 should be the ones he couldnt afford to take?! In our house we take ALL the children away with us - if we couldnt afford to do that then nobody would go! Roll on the day when the courts say they can make their own decisions!

My god what an even bigger prick!

If its any consolation my natural dad is also a prick and whilst as a child I ttally idolised him, I think it took me til I was 13 to realise he was an arsehole. When I've seen him over the last few years I think he realises what he missed out on and has many regrets. However saying that, we started to get on better recently but then he's gone back to his old ways. Don;t even know where he lives at the moment. Oh well.

Sounds like your 2 have him sussed already and they will be able to choose for themselves soon.

Sounds familiar to me.
Ex P and I have 1DS 12yrs old.
He has refused to pay anything. CSA have been worse than useless.
He shows my DS over rated films, leaves him with his mother/girlfriend/girlfriends DCs rather than spend time with him.
Moved a 6hr round trip away and complains about not being able to afford to collect DS and I have had to deliver him myself on several occasions (12hrs driving and much petrol over a weekend - and I'm pg! - not his)
And the best bit is the constant use of court action when I suggest he behaves in a more adult fashion. Of course he gets legal aid and I don't.
Oh and the abusive phone calls, threats and bad mouthing of my partner and I to my son (convinced I had affair and left - nothing to do with the violence and pulling of knives - no sir-y)
Sorry I'm ranting now.
However DS is now 12 and does not wish to visit every other weekend any longer as he has his own life firmly established here (not that his Dad would know anything of it) and have been assured that should I end up back in court it will be DS who gets to choose his visiting hours.
I always felt it was better that DS saw his Dad so he would know what kind of man he is and not put him on a pedistal but I'm not sure any more.

If this cheers you up at ALL then it is worth sharing.

Yesterday I was walking near my house and a big orange van with a HUMUNGOUS sign on the side, and a picture of some bloke said:

"this father of four has a court order for non payment of child support"

(or similar wording, I don't know the lingo).

I didn't recognise the bloke, but thought good on whoever it was for naming and shaming him locally as we live in a fairly close-knit community.

Maybe the burning torch brigade could "Out" bad Mothers in the same way?

That'd teach everyone

my ex has just walked out of his job to avoid paying maintenance he owes nearly £200 (approximately) - he no doubt thinks i should get my dp to pay for my dd. feckless.

it's worse the arrears (after speaking to csa) are £568, i know it's not the worst figure though