Have any of you had problems with the family courts?

[heyho]

Hi, just wondered if any of your dh have had problems obtaining contact/residence orders through the courts. And if so, what your gory stories are?
Anyone still on the middle of it all?
One Court welfare officer said I was obsessive about education because I counted a cut up apple with my ss then aged 3 whilst he was eating it. He's in the top four in his year in maths now so it can't have been all bad!!

Hi heyho,
My DH had to go to court to obtain, parental responsibility, contact and over night staying contact. This was about 7 years ago now, and I think parental resposibility is automatic these days.
He had an initial consultation with a free solicitor from CAB, who told him he could handle his own case and what forms to ask the court for.
He had very little money at the time and just could not afford it.
When he had filled in the forms, he sent them back to court with a cheque for about £32 for each application (but this may well be more now).
We found the staff at the court very helpful, in telling us what we needed and what the procedures would be.
We also bought a Family Law book from Waterstones, which was very helpful and easy to understand,(can't remember the author, sorry, but it's proberbly out of date now).
Dh and his ex-partner had mediation which was not sucessful, then the Court Welfare officer made a report, DH and ex both made statements, then finally the Judge made a ruling in DH's favour.
It took quite a while, but seemed like an eternity to DH, who was desperate to see his DD.
It was a very stressful period of time for us, but was well worth it. As we wanted to get it all sorted out while step DD was still very young, and was not aware of what was going on.
This is whats happened and things are very much more amicable these days. My step DD is now 8yo and we now also have twin DS's of 4.5yo.
When they take DD home, they like to go in and play at her house. DH's ex makes quite a fuss of them, which is lovely. Things have changed so much since the early days, when we where in your position I'd never have believed it was possible.
So hang in there, get as much advice as possible and you don't have to spend a fortune on solicitors.
However, it is very stressful, so do post again if you need to talk !!!

Does this website for the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service help at all?

I have just been advised that I have an Interview with CAFCASS on Monday regarding the residence of my daughter - is this usual - I thought that they would just visit our house to see me with my daughter???

I think it's usual. From the vague second hand info I have from a friend, it sounds like she had an interview. They asked her all sorts of questions about caring for her child and access etc. Nothing difficult though so don't panic.. Just be absolutely honest.

Thanks Soupdragon - any advice whetehr second or first hand is a great thing for me at the moment - have been told that I have to stay away from the fact that I detest my x2b and wish him every ill possible though - not sure how this is gonna work as I want to bring up the fact that I am worried about my daughter seeing violence in the household as he obviously thinks it is ok for men to give women a bit of a slap every now and then - I am not sure whether this will sound as if I am concerned or am trying to be nasty about ex2b.

Hi, I'm new to the site, but saw your posting re CAFCASS. My dh and his ex wife had contested residency of my ss, so if your x is contesting it then you may have the round of interviews we had. First they saw dh and his x separately, then saw ss (aged 12) and interviewed him and showed him flashcards. from this they wrote a report recommending that my dh had residency. his ex wife threw a wobbly, and insisted CAFCASS officer came to see her at home with her son, which he did, but didn't change his view.

I think it depends on how old the child is, what their wishes are if they're a certain age, and whether there is any conflict about care/shared care.

For us it was a nightmare, but I don't think you have anything to worry about over an interview. Just be honest, as they are really trying to do what's best for the child, and if you have concerns that are genuine, then tell them.

Although the result for us has been mixed - I have my own step parenting problems - it's important that the parents focus on the child and not scoring points off each other, which is what my dh's ex tried to do.

Hope this helps xx Good luck xx

Not sure whether you replying to Boe, Emma but everything went well for her. Her and her daughter are now living together with DP and a new baby on the way - she just got to get the divorce over now!!

Silly me, didn't see the 2003 date and thought it was this month.

Brain addled.

Glad it all went well xx