Has anyone any experience of a father who insists that his new partner is involved in every visit with DD. He lives in a different country and only visits every 2-3 months but since he met his new partner, he refuses now to spend any time with DD on their own and tries to make DD feel guilty about excluding his partner. She is only 9 and very hurt and upset by it. She has tried to speak to him about it but he pretends to listen and does what he wants anyway, which is typical of him. He refuses to talk to me about it and said he's entitled to do as he pleases. His partner does not have children and she sounds like a nice person and even though my DD says she "hates" her and she's "ugly," I think her issue is with her Dad, not this woman but it's difficult to be angry at your own Dad. Far easier to project it onto this woman. I know he found our break up very hard 6 years ago and spent a long time (right up until he met this woman) trying to persuade me to change my mind so it was a relief that he met someone else and I never anticipated these problems. I hate to see DD so hurt and confused and I don't want her to feel that her wishes are being ignored or are unimportant. I think if the partner's involvement in the visits was done more gradually my DD would just get to know her a bit more slowly and at her own pace and wouldn't feel that this woman is preventing her having time on her own with her Dad, which is sadly what's happened. I've offered to meet this woman in the hope that it might reassure my DD but my ex really does not want us to meet. If anyone has any advice as to how to help my daughter cope with it better or any tips to persuade my ex that this isn't about him or I, it's about a little girl who just wants to have time on her own with her Dad. I think he feels that he'll be giving in to me if he changes his position now and I think he's convinced his partner that I'm jealous of her! I was actually his 2nd wife and so I have experience of how he talks about his ex wives!
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Step-parenting
mrsjammi ·
16/04/2009 18:38
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