I think it has reached a boiling point for me...:(

[Lins75]

I think the worst is going to happen with me and DH.
From the day one of our relationship I knew that his daughter wasn't happy with it.
When we married I knew she wanted me and DD1 out of the house.
I told myself over and over and over that it will smooth itself. That she will not stand between us.

But it happened and I for the past few days I can't think of anything else but taking my kids and leaving.

I just kind of....lost all hope it's going to get better.Through everything I always had that hope but now I lost it.

I feel so bad for DH, I love him and he's been trying SO hard lately but it's impossible with her.
And the thing is that I know how much that trying hurts him because she is his daughter and he loves her more than the world and I just feel like I am costing them their great relationship.

It has reached a point where I am not happy with who I am. I used to love his kids and wanted to have a great relationship with them but I now I just dread the moment they come home from school. I don't want them to come home, when they are out I am not worried. I want them to stay out even more, even longer.
It sounds horrible and I don't like it one bit. I'm getting depressed over it all.

Me and my DH have taken a trip just recently and it was great. But as soon as we got home the reality went back.
I can't remember when was the last time I felt happy in this house.
When it's me and DH it's perfect but we can't exclude our home life...We can't exclude the fact that it's always one step forward, two steps backward with our family.

I wish I was warned never to be with a man whos kids don't like you, that it doesn't get better, just worse.

Sorry for the lenght and thanks for reading...

Oh dear. Wish I had some advice, but have no experience of step-parenting I'm afraid.

I do know about teenagers though - and at 15, you might just find she was a total cow even if you were her bm - they go loopy at that age

Is there no way to weather the storm, hang on in there and trust that when she grows up, she will be mature enough to understand you are not the wicked witch of the west?

how is your relationship with your husband? Because that's key - facing whatever, together.

Thanks.
I have been married to DH for 4 years now and I have been weathering the storm throughtout all this time and I have to say it has only gotten worse and worse and worse until it reached this. And I don't think I can take it getting more worse.

My relationship with his is great. When we're alone but at home we barely even find a spare moment for each other because of everything with out kids.

((hugs)) I remember you posting before.

Did you have a thread fairly recently - your DH was away and the DSD was staying out till all hours and generally being a complete witch to you? If so (or even if not), sympathies. Only you can decide whether you can bear it for a few more years while the DSC grow up and move out. Finances permitting, you could find somewhere for you and your DDs nearby, spend what time you can with your DH and just sit it out and see what happens.

Have you thought about speaking to your GP or perhaps her school about being referrred for family therapy on the NHS? Even couples counselling might help you both discuss it together and fond some solutions together. If you feel like you are slipping into depression, the GP is probably a good starting point. Sorry you are going through this, it sounds incredibly difficult and sad.

What's his view on it all? Does he have any suggestions?

What I was trying to say is that living seperately from your DH for a year or two needn't mean the end of your marriage. You could still see each other.

Hassled- yes that was me.
I don't know about living without my husband, that sounds a bit strange to me...

HecateQueenOfGoshts - Both of us (mostly him) have been trying lately to improve things but it is more than difficult, which I'm sure you understand...We can think of all the solutions possible but their final outcome usually ends catastrophic.

Bitofsexyfunbutnotupthebum - whats NHS? We have suggested family counseling and counceling for DSD but she it was rebuffed by the kids. DSD has been to the school therapist to be evaluted when her mother died at 6 but he just wrote singe-minded on the final sheet. Whats NHS?

I'm sorry, I assumed you were living in the UK- is this not the case? I meant the national health service.

no, i live in california.

last post Sorry it's not sorted itself out What's going on regarding your SD

I'm now even sad to read that thread... I was actually hopeful then and it all ended on a positive note.
It was just one step forward and as I said we have now taken two steps back.

Oh Lins, I remember your previous thread. I'm so sorry that things are not really improving, it did sound as though things were certainly getting better with your DH putting in massive amounts of effort.

I guess the thing is would you be more miserable away from him and his children?

I do hope you are ok.

that sounds terribly sad. There must be shrinks available in California, of all places, surely? Don't they have school counsellors?

Oh dear-I remember your last thread and hoped it was getting better.
I think that you need a 'whole' family therapy with an outsider to help-if you want to stay together. I don't think that it is going to work unless your DD is accepted as a sister and equal part of the family.
If you can't get this I think you need to put your DD first and leave.