I got married in 2007 and I now have a step-daughter. We get along alright but we?re not best of mates, she looks so much like her mum and I hate her mum. A bit about how my husband became dad: he was in a relationship with a girl but had a one weekend affair and the person who he had an affair with fell pregnant and decided to have a baby (she knew my husband for 2 weeks when she found out that she was pregnant). My hubby broke up with then-girlfriend, really regretted having affair and trying to make her do an abortion but she still kept the baby. They never lived together. Baby was born, they tried to live together, but it really didn?t work out ? he hates her, she was taking hard drugs and partying all the time, sometimes breastfeeding while high on drugs. Anyway, the child was living mainly with my hubby from when she was a baby. When daughter was 4 yrs old my hubby met me and couple years later we got married. I really didn?t realise how big and thankless job being a step-mum is. She is actually a good girl but as I?ve never been very maternal and I?m not that into kids (I?m sure it will change once I?ll have my own) I just find it hard. I?m not very warm towards her and I realise that it?s not her fault that she was born to this world form one-night stand but I just can?t get my head around that because her mum is such a f-up I have to pick up all the pieces. And I?m jealous, I?m jealous that she comes first to my hubby. My SD spends most of the weekend with her mum, so that?s a touch but still every Sunday she comes back my mood changes massively. I hate being a step-mum and if I?m honest to myself I wish she wouldn?t exist. Anyway, that is not it. About a year ago my hubby got a letter from CSA because one of his exes (after my SD was born) claiming that her child is my hubby?s. He didn?t want to hear anything about it as that woman was a mentally ill (what goes through my mind is that why he was with him in the first place, but men are so damn weak that I better not go into this) and now we have a court case because he hasn?t taken any action. I want him to take DNA test, but he?s not too sure thinking if that proves positive that he?ll lose me. It is such a big head f. I don?t know what to do anymore. I?m/we?re raising his child form a one night stand and there might be another child from his past. I just feel I am going totally mad. He doesn?t understand my anger saying it was all before he met me but the way I see it is that it?s never been just US, there?s always been 3rd person involved in our relationship (my SD) and I just feel that there?s nothing new I can offer him ? he had a baby with a stranger and I understand that he loves her (of course he does ?it?s his daughter) but don?t expect me to love her same way as he does. I really hate his past and I?m not sure if I can go on much longer like this. I think I need counselling, but thought I start from here.