Am struggling with DP's daughter and feeling very guilty.

[plj]

DP and I have 9 month old twins, and he has a 6yr old from a previous relationship. She spends every other weekend with us and 2 nights during the week. We see her more during the hols. My problem is that she is very 'hands on' with the twins-constantly pulling at them if they are playing on the floor, or trying to shove a dummy in their mouth even if they don't want it. She has managed to tip their buggy a few times, trying to push them to sleep. My heart is in my mouth just about all the time when she is around them.I nearly passed out the other day when I came down from the bathroom to find her trying to pick DS up. DP had nipped out to the back garden for a ciggie. He doesn't seem to think it's an issue. I am becoming so stressed. Any advice?

Thanks AlwaysTheMummy,

Not harsh at all. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to help me keep a little perspective on things, and be a bit more optimistic! You are so right though, she could have been really jelous and not nice to them which would have been ten times worse.

She does help with nappy changing and bath time,but they are the times I find hard. I am going to try and relax with her more, and enjoy those times when she is helping, rather than feeling tense and having to sit on my hands and bite my tongue.

I just feel the hackles rising whenever she is here and around the twins, then I feel awful for feeling like that.It's a real roller coaster of emotions.

Thanks AlwaysTheMummy,

Not harsh at all. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to help me keep a little perspective on things, and be a bit more optimistic! You are so right though, she could have been really jelous and not nice to them which would have been ten times worse.

She does help with nappy changing and bath time,but they are the times I find hard. I am going to try and relax with her more, and enjoy those times when she is helping, rather than feeling tense and having to sit on my hands and bite my tongue.

I just feel the hackles rising whenever she is here and around the twins, then I feel awful for feeling like that.It's a real roller coaster of emotions.

I would agree with cory-you are still at first baby stage and your DP is at second baby stage. She is doing what any older sibling would do-the good thing is that she doesn't seem to be jealous and it will get easier as they get older.