i'm new - and so relieved other people have problems!

[fourkidsmum]

I've been watching the mn forum, particularly this topic for a while...and i just wanted to say thank you to everyone for also having issues - i feel so much better!!!

i love my dp (my soulmate and my best friend), my dds and my dss. we all get on, we talk about everything, we all want the same from life...so i never envisaged how many difficulties would be thrown up by having 2 exes chucked into the mix, 2 sets of rules, different schools, different sets of expectations, kids homes miles apart etc etc

sometimes i just feel so helpless, and this is not stuff i'd generally talk to my friends about, so everyone here feels like a collective voice of reason...

thank you

didn't actually mean i'm glad anyone has problems, you understand...i wish we all had a rose-tinted life!

just meant it's nice not to feel so alone.

hi fourkids,

I could of typed what you have just wrote, know exactly what you mean.

i love my husband dearly, but i find the equation of your kids and my kids so very very difficult. Especially the different house rules.

It is a shame that second marriages or relationships dont come with a manual it would make it so much easier.

hmmm i think i am having a nervous breakdown..and dp is definitely fed up of it

just waiting for a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel!!

Sometimes i sound like a stuck record, but, at the end of the day, the more i go on about seperate rules , difficult/different behaviour etc, the more stressed i get myself.

I now try to shut myself off mentally, when hubbys daughter is here, sometimes i think she only enjoys it here when she has wound us up.

She has actually told both me and her dad she only comes to ours for the entertainment. ie, winds everyone up, causes tears and tantrums, then goes home to her mum with mission accommpished.

So now we try to work together, not easy, very stressfull, but hopefully it will pay off in the long run.

My kids actually find it harder ie, how come she can back answer but we cant etc.

Like i say, i do wish second marraiges came with manuals

accommplished that should say, even though i still think ive spelt it wrong!!!!!!!!!!!

actually i wondered whether a manual - in the form of some sort of self-help book might be worth looking at, but i flicked through a couple and they looked a bit gloomy about the whole thing

anyway, i am losing my internet access for a few days and i didn't want those of you who have been kind enough to reply to me to think i had found you then immediately dumped you!

sorry your loosing your net for a few days. hopefully its back on soon. I have glimpsed through a few books, about second families etc. to be honest, the only way through it , i think, is trial and error.

The only advice i can give you, from another mum who is going through this, is sit tight. Work together with your partner, and hopefully it will all work out.