What do your DSCs call you...?

[No1GruffaloHunter]

I'm posting this for a friend who has a dilema which you may be able to help with.

Her DP has a DD (aged 8) and she has asked to call my friend "Mummy". My friend is flattered by this but still uncomfortable (the little girl has a Mummy already) and is looking for advice on how to handle the situation. It goes without saying that they very last thing she wants to do is upset DSD.

So what do your DSCs call you? Any alternative suggestions? Or any general advice on what yo say / do to manage this.

my DD calls me by my name but when asked about who i am she says i am her special mummy and regulalry she will jsut say mummy when we are out! We leave it up to her, i answer to anything!

Wonder if it might be very upsetting for DSD's mummy if she knew.. another special name might be good - prob little girl wants to establish 'specialness' of relationship. We called my DSM by an abbreviated form of her name - eg name is Sam - we ( and only we) called her Sammy. HTH

Quaranta, I think that you have hit the nail on the head and thats exactly what she wants to do. Its just coming up with something appropriate.

Actually her Mummy does know about this and has been very reasonable and understanding about the whole thing and has encouraged her daughter to discuss this with my friend and her DP to reach a solution.

Bonkerz, thats the current position. Unfortunately my friends name is rather long and I think DSD would like something shorter / more personal.

I should also add that DSD lives mostly with her birth mum and my friend and her DP don't live together.

Hi there, will add my two penny worth if its ok

I am engaged and DD(7) asked my hubby to be if she could call him Daddy, (she doesnt have physical contact with her real Dad so I guess this plays a part in it)

Anyway, she she asked him he responded that she could call him waht ever she liked, so long as she remembers that her real Daddy will always be her Daddy.

I think Quaranta hit the nail on the head, DD wanted to establish a specialness and also for her because she didnt have a Daddy figure she wanted that. Having said that months and months later she still calls him it, and gets quite narked if I dont refer to him as such lol

It is a difficult siutation for your friend I agree! We are planning to sart contact again with her "real" Dad so that might pose interesting.

My 2 sons (15 and 13) from a previous marriage call my hubby by his name, to his face. When they're talking to their friends etc about him, they call him "dad".
My husbands 2 daughters who've lived with us for 2 years now, well the 12 yr old calls me by my name, but refers to me as "mum" to her friends, and the 10 yr old cals me mum constantly.
The boys natural father is not in their lives....his choice. He gave up contact when we split....nor is the girls natural mother in their life either, but that's the girls own choice. They'd suffered serious neglect problems, that we needed to get a court involved to award us full custody..(awful, long, horrendous story).
I guess this sort of question depends on each individual.
I was highly flattered when my SD aged 8 at the time, wanted to call me mum....I wasn't hurt tho' when my SD who was 10 at the time, wanted to just call me Stephanie.
Nor was my now husband hurt when my boys have called him by his name...but we've since foudn out, that they also refer to him as 'dad' when they talk about him to friends etc.
Everyone is different I guess....different strokes for different strokes, and all that etc...

By my first name, but our kids and step kids still have strong contact with both natural parents so calling other adults mum or dad unless by accident doesn't happen as the kids know who their mums and dads are, and it would cause trouble between the adults. I'd hate my kids to call another woman mum.

Yep, they call me by my first name, i would'nt expect them to ever call me 'mummy'. Dh gets upset as dsd calls her step dad 'daddy'. Your mums your mum and your dads your dad.

my name - never been any question of anything else.. that said I called my step dad dad but that was bit different (real father had left, he adopted me and I can only remember him living with us) but that was something that happend over a few years.

agree with madam suggesting you let them come up with a nickanme