Why is it left up to me?

[MarkStretch]

DSD stayed with us last night.

I asked DH last night what time she was being collected today. He said I don't know I haven't arranged anything yet.

This morning he went to work at 5.45am.

I still didn't know what the plans were so rang him. He asked could I text and arrange as he hadn't had a chance.

So I text Dsd's mum and asked what time she was being collected. Dsd's mum obviously takes this to mean I don't want her here and so replies with 'fine I'll come and collect her now'- i.e. 8.30am.

This is not what I meant and the dc's are playing brilliantly so I am more than happy for her to be here all day but now I feel difficult and awkward and things will probably be frosty when she is picked up (DH will still be at work by the way).

I just wanted a idea so I could plan my day.

GRRRRRR.

Not your fault. Perfectly reasonable question to ask her mum.

Txt her back and say you didnt mean it like that etc people often get the wrong end of the stick with txt's and msn etc

I made DH ring her in the end and she did think it was because I didn't want her here. I said in the text there was no hurry and I was only wondering.

Why does she always think the worst first of all?!

To be fair to her, she's equally stuck in the middle....

In future, don't do it for him. If you are happy to look after DSD, then keep her until you are called. If you have plans / want to go out, just go and take DSD with you.

It's not you fault and it's not your problem to be stuck in the middle.

It should not be left up to you, its your DH's responsibility, he is imo being a tit.
She is his responsibility!

Here DP is responsible for his DD. I do care lots/do loads for her but ultimately she is DP's responsibility

I do really think it was DH's responsibility to arrange collection with DSDs mother, not yours. Texts can quite easily be misconstrued and although what you put was quite reasonable, she clearly read it the other way. This has now caused you awkwardness and bad feeling when none of this need of happened if DH had contacted her in the first place.

I hope that DSDs mother understands the mistake and you can continue with your "amicable" relationship.