DH's Ex's dad died... :-(

[youcannotbeserious]

Dh is away all week so nothing he can do. I've offered to have the DSDs. Cannot think of anything that I can do or would be appropriate.

Have called DH's mum and DH's friends who knew him.

Suppose that's really all I can do, but he was a decent chap and my DSDs have lost their grandad.

Hmmm, tricky one. How well do you get on with the children's mum under normal circumstances?

I can't think of anything else you could do just at the minute either but good luck. The kids need some careful handling now I should think.

We are civil to each other.

We are not friends, by any stretch of the imagination, but we've dealt with each other for the last 10 years and there is a certain amount of care and respect, IYSWIM.

We have a common interest in ensuring the kids are OK, which is why I feel it's appropriate to offer my help for them.

Right, well dunno if this is any good or, indeed, apprpriate but I found this on Amazon. There may be other books and guides which are better but take a look in case you need it?

here

. for daytime crowd.

Well, as a bit of an update:

DH's ex has accepted my offer to look after the kids so she can go and see her mother.

Weirdly, she did this through my DH (who is in Russia) - so she called him to ask if I would take the kids. He called me to check that's OK. I sorted stuff out, called him back to say yes and he calls her back to say yes, it's fine...

DH's ex and I are less than 5 miles away from each other.... Bizarre.

ANyway, I am glad I offered and glad she accepted.

Does seem like a round the houses and back again sort of way of communicating but hey, she's grieving and vulnerable, so let it be, I say!

I hope the kids are OK for you and not too down in the dumps. Children are better than adults when it comes to death, in my experience (I have quite a bit of experience in this - was only 8 myself when my mother had the audacity to drop down dead!), so fingers crossed, they're reasonably comfortable with what's happening.

PS - don't know why there is only me and thee on this thread YCBS - can only assume we are missing a tremendous bun fight some where else on MN at the moment!

Thanks Doodle.

not sure where everyone is, but I think lots of schools have broken up now for the summer, so maybe epopel are on holiday.

Or, people even!

Sounds like you are doing the right things already. I would assume communication ebtween the two or you direct may happen a bit more when you have the girls.

I would possible send a card of condolences too.

Dh has sent a card, as has his mum and some friends that knew him.

dont think I should as I only knew him through DH / DSDs and given it was DH's ex, well, it doesn't seem right.

Direct comms haven't occured in the last 10 years and probaby won't now. I thought they might , but never mind.

I'm happy to be able to help out.

No, if DH has alreaady then I agree.