Should I write to her?

[youcannotbeserious]

OK, brief history:

DH's Ex and I don't exactly get on great, but we are civil / polite to each other - mainly for the sake of the kids, but we've been part of each other's lives for nearly 10 years and I suppose we've gotten used to each other!

Anyway, DH works away so is not about at all during the week... But, I've got a new baby, so at home all day every day...

My DSDs break up from school next week, but their mum doesn't finish for another 2 and a bit weeks.

I'm in half a mind to e-mail Dh's ex directly and just say that I'm about to look after the kids if she should want / need it. Obviously, I understand the kids are older now and may not need it, but the offer is there.

What do you think? I've mentioned it to DH and to the DSDs.... Just not sure I should just bite the bullet and say, I'm about if you need any childcare....

What do you think? Or should I just leave it?

Am going to post this in Lone Parents too...

thanks, YCBS x

I think it is a lovely thought.

Go for it.

that would be nice to offer then the choice is hers

Yes, what a great offer for you to make. Go for it. It'll also earn you great brownie points for the future!

No, Turkeylurkey, it won't earn me brownie points. They don't exist in the world of DH's Ex. I could move heaven and earth for her one day and I'd still be the biggest bitch on earth the next....

If I write to her, it's at face value: I'm about for the kids. Nothing more and nothing less.

...If she says 'No' to your offer do you want my two?

yeah.. why not!!

As long as they like chocolate dogs!!!

I'm afraid in my household, it's a case of 'love me, love my dog'

Well thats a shame. At least if you do make the offer you can remain virtuous and know you 'have done the right thing' IYSWIM.

i got my husband to help move his ex putting up curtain rails ,beds etc and she repayed us by telling everyone he fancied her im the one who gets the phone call when dss kicks off in school yet she still treats me like c**P so i know how you feel

Oh, Dragonbaby, I can empathise... YEARS ago, my Dh's ex called him when he was on his way to pick the kids up on a friday night and said 'oh, I've not had a chance to get out to the shops.. I have friends over. Can you please pick up some flowers and some wine for me?' so he did...

And then she told everyone he was trying to 'win her back'

Water off a ducks back.........

Lovely idea - do it - the kids will be pleased to know you are happy to have them even if your offer is not accepted and as you say it is all about the kids ...
Good for you

Well, here's an update: I didn't get the chance to e-mail her.

She decided that DH dropping the kids back to her would be a good time to holler at him about childcare - she didn't even have the good manners to come to the door to speak to him face to face.

When this was mentioned as bad manners, she said she was in a towel

Well, forgive me, but surely if you are not dressed and can't come to the door to speak, you could not have to holler about holidays at that precise moment.

Anyway, during the hollering, it became clear she didn't want me looking after the kids (ironically, she had no problem with me looking after the kids when she wanted to go on holiday)

So, there you go.... Sometimes, I really wonder why I bother trying to be nice!

Jammi - choccy labs are the best aren't they!!

mine keeps me sane!

Perceived power all about perceived power [says a cynical person]. I don't understand it myself. But it seems somewhat familiar.

My X wants a 4/3/3/4 or 7/7 split in days. On the days that she "has" him, she would want him to go into childcare after school (because she works) and doesn't want me (or "my family") to have anymore than 50/50 split (I could pick up as I am available as could my dad).

Hi Jammi!!

Exactly the same - the chocolate dog doesn't take a blind bit of notice!! He's such a wonderufl , laid back dog, I never had a moments worry he'd be anything other than fine with the baby.

Everyone said 'oh, the dog will tell you when the baby is upset and come and get you' etc. etc.,

Not a bit of it.

The dog sleeps on my bed at night (the baby is in a moses basket) and when the baby starts squalking, the dog gets up and goes to sleep on the couch (can you tell he's a boy dog!!! )

Though one thing I am pleased about is the dog understands that the baby is part of the family. He (the dog) can be a bit possessive of me around other dogs, but seems to understand completely that Harry (the baby) is one of the kids (the dog is GREAT with my step daughters too)

How old is your baby? mine is 6 weeks and your dog? Mine is nearly 5 years old can't believe I've had the chocolate one for 5 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you are well! Are you on Maternity leave? I've just endured Jeremy Kyle....

PMSL at the big river (which one? We used to live on the Thames) - you just can't keep them out of the water!! My dog is SUCH a sissy, though - loves water, but doesn't like rain!!

The chocolate one has an odd routine - sleeps onthe bed when I'm on my own (to the point of putting his head on the pillow! ) but won't so much as put a paw upstairs when DH is home. I have a routine on a Friday (DH only comes home on weekends) which involves dehairing the house and the dog takes up position on his dog bed!!!!

I do agree with the walking though, I find the dog stays far closer to me now I have the baby than he did before...

I don't really do daytime TV either - I can multitask on TV, MN, Ebay and FB all at the same time!!!

I've given up work for good - gave up on 16th May - DS arrived on 17th May! ... Half a mind to go back at some point, but probably not until DS starts nursery.

Where are you? I've joined one baby group (courtesy of another MNer!) and looking to join a few more soon!

We could start a dogs n sprogs group!

honestly, he has ishooos, my dog!!

FB is facebook...

Yes, i know i'm lucky... but my DH works in Russia to keep us all in the manner to which we like to be accotomed, so there is a downside!!!!

I'm just outside London.... I'm also happy to drive to meet up...

I can get into London no problems - I'm on the mainline, but am close enough to central London to drive too. I'm on the M4 side of London.... so could as easily get to Reading (know it reasonably well) or Slough (don't know it at all)

Can you take your dog on the bus? I know you can on the train.... I have a big car (it's one of those ones you have to mention in hushed tones on MN) so the dog is always welcome..........

Don't mention DH being away. A few weeks ago, I would have told you it was no problem, but I am missing him (emotionally, practically; baby, dog and I are fine) so much now... I'm blaming the hormones!!