I’m no longer a stepparent and it feels good

[GooseyDuck]

Ex and I have finally ended things. I’m so relieved.

It’s not the kids’ fault but he uses them as emotional support and I’m so tired of seeing him cuddle them on the sofa whenever I call him out on anything. So tired of hearing his rants about their mum and how he disagrees with child maintenance. So tired of spending all of my spare time and money on kids who aren’t mine, trying in futile to get them to play nicely and learn phonics and basic general knowledge they should have learnt years ago. So tired of brushing out hair that hasn’t been brushed in weeks; of being “the one who nit combs;” of being expected to change my work schedule to provide childcare; of being the one who manages communication between their parents and with school.

I’ll miss them, but I’m so relieved.

Why did you have DC with him when you could see he was a neglectful dad?

I feel sorry for the SC. Only person who did anything for them didn’t actually like them and won’t be in their lives anymore.

Because in the early years he was paying off debt they’d accrued and blamed his ex, and was thankful, and whilst I always did a lot for the kids, he’d be helpful in other ways like housework or DIY. It felt like we were a team building a happy family. Now he’s a phone-addicted alcoholic instead.

I did and do still like SC. They’re fundamentally good kids and their parenting isn’t their fault. I’m not going to prioritise improving their wellbeing on weekends and holidays over mine and my kids’ full-time right to a happy home life though.

I think telling their school the truth about their home life, his drinking etc. and that you have left as it was so bad, is the right thing to do.
Report it so that SS can be notified.
Yanbu to get out.
Your loyalty is to your own children.

Congratulations.

I had a similar day of relief, no longer having to put up with my (older) dsd. Being rid of the spite, the ignorance, the endless nastiness.

Getting 2yo ds away from the attempts to feed him rubbish.

No more damage to my car or clothes.

It’s like shedding a heavy burden. A return to normal life where people are decent and sane and intelligent.

Enjoy the feeling. Don’t go back.