Looking for some advice/suggestions. Feeling like it's better to call a day on my relationship. There's some other issues in the background but this is the main one.
So I've been with my OH for around 5 years. 2 living apart, then 3 together. I don't have children but he has 2 teenage daughters. The oldest SD is 19 and rarely with us. We didn't get along brilliantly initially but now she's pretty swell. Used to have the SK 50/50 but now have the youngest full time.
The problem is my youngest SD17. She wanted me to be her mum until she was 16. Got really obsessed with me. Used to come everywhere with me. Started wearing my clothes even when I'd ask her not too. Got herself taken out of college so as to get herself apprenticed to her dad, hoping she could be with me a the time.
Long story short, she came down with really bad anorexia. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I went above my OH at the time as she came to me for help and he refused to listen. Our relationship really took a turn for the worse as the illness got worse and at the very lowest he kicked me out his house and we spent about 3 months in no-man's land. We kissed and made up but him and his daughter made it very clear that I caused the anorexia and I'd irrepairly damaged her self esteem by leaving at her lowest.
Anyway, SD is now apprenticed to my OH and is with him ALL THE TIME. She works with him all day, she lives with us full time. It is absolute hell. I cannot even talk to him for 5 minutes because she clings to him. If we all go out together she has to ask something from him every 2 minutes. The thing that really gets to me though is the constant touching. I'm not a touchy feely person but it takes the piss and my OH doesn't see any problem with it. She kisses his head, strokes his head, his arms, his leg under the dinner table, she falls asleep with her head in his lap every night if I don't interrupt their 'alone time'. He was trying to get changed the other day and she wouldn't let go of him. She's definitely still not well in the head as there's lots of other very peculiar behaviours but I can't deal with the touching. If she has to go out without him it becomes a BIG thing.
I can't see an end to it and the two of them being together 24/7. It's definitely not inappropriate his end but he doesn't try and disencourage it. I just find it incredibly hard as we struggle to find even 5 minutes together alone each day, and I'm just so utterly sick of it. They do everything together and I'm left third wheeling.
What would you do mumsnet? I'm ready to bail. She's a sweet girl when he's not there, but I'm sick of feeling like an afterthought to their relationship. I really like him too but I think there's too much water under the bridge.