Ive been with my partner for 4 years, we have 2 children under 2 together and he has an 11 year old from a pervious relationship. We have him 50/50. Recently his behaviour is getting really out of hand, whenever we have him the house is full of shouting and trying to discipline him. He has no boundaries at his other parents so when he comes to us he thinks he can do what he wants whenever he wants. All the shouting makes me uncomfortable and I hate for the 2 small children to be around it all the time.
My partner recently made a comment of how he shouldn't have to ask me if he wants to do something while we have his son and I should just have him. For context he goes out for a full day of sports, gone before they wake and back at bedtime. I made a comment how he never tells me I am having his son till the night before and then im made to feel guilty about being unhappy with it. His loves to say he likes to 'torture' the babies, he constantly winds them up till they screaming never leaves them alone to just play alone. I find it really hard, and find i become a parent I dont want to be and shout. I dont enjoy my time with the babies if im alone with all 3.
I have to cancel plans with friends because going out in public is just too much for me.
Other than being alone with him I do pretty much everything else parenting wise, plan days out as a family, solely responsible for feeding, cleaning, I keep track of when we have him and don't. So im not an absent step parent, but I am wrong to be wanted to be asked if im okay to have him alone for such a long day?