Stepkids Pocket Money

[BusyBeaker]

I dont know if anyone else has experienced this . Blended family . My Stepkids have always been quite spoilt and ungrateful and my own child the opposite .No issues in the marriage and we are very happy . But both stepkids get about £60 a week each in pocket money . They have an awful lot of disrespect in the home , leaving a mess everywhere I just feel guilty that I dont want to give my child that kind of pocketmoney , child gets maybe £10 a week . One stepkid doesnt go to school but leaves a mess everywhere . My partner is not in employment . This has all resulted in me wanting to do activities with my child seperately from my partner and stepkids , as I dont think it is fair on my child to have their step siblings showing off the money they have when out as a family . Partner knows it is all wrong , but I think they feel guilty for leaving ex partner many years ago and the stepkids play on that in a coercive way . What can I say ? Some say dont get involved . The stepkids can get whatever pocket money they get , my issue is how I dont want my own child to be around that kind of behaviour .

So it's the mum giving 60 quid a week?

60 quid a week?! And he doesn’t work?

Why is partner not in employment, so he doesn't have to pay CMS?

Who pays the pocket money?

Where are they getting 60quid a week if your partner is unemployed? Is it from their mum? How often are they with your family?

Is your child also your partners, I presume not as you called them step-siblings not half but just clarifying.

Is there a big age difference, sounds like his might be teens / young adults if at least one is not in school? Is your child much younger?

i'm not sure you can control what their mum does it's up to her surely? Why do you think your partner can control it?

What positive does any of this bring to your child’s life?

How’s he giving them £60 a week if he has no job?

Who gives them the £60? If it's their mum there's nothing you can do. If it's your partner then I guess it depends how your other finances work.

How old are the children? Is your partner your child’s dad?
im sure your child has friends with more spending money - its something they have to get used to that parents have different rules about pocket money.

step kids behaviour around your house is something their unemployed father should be taking a lead on sorting out, but its not on you to be micromanaging their pocket money. If you can’t live with them and the mess they create you and your kid need to move out.

hard to believe there are no problems in the marriage unless you are just scapegoating his kids though, as adult are responsible for their children’s behaviour.

Think we need more info OP. Who gives them the money and where does the money come from. How old are they and why on earth do they spend that on? I guess teens could get through more in a week.

I agree it seems excessive and understand why you wouldn’t want ti start that for your child. Is your child aware?

I think even £10 is a lot. But that’s my opinion - I’m sure some kids get nothing and some get loads more.

Sorry to say, doesn’t sound like your dp
us a very good parent. He needs to start putting in boundaries and start with house rules. Get them to tidy up etc.

How often are the step kids with you? Who’s schooling them if they don’t go to school? How old are they, and how long gave they been in your

Maybe time for you to step up as well. The honeymoon period is over, so to speak. don’t let them disrespect your house and Start pulling them up if they leave rubbish around etc.

Why isn’t your partner working? have we got the mn cliche - divorced man targets single woman who’s financially solvent/owns own home?

You’ve left out quite a lot of information here that would help people give you constructive advice!
how old are all children involved?
why isn’t one in school?
is the money coming from your husband or their mum?
why doesn’t your husband work?
how often do you have the children?

my issue is how I dont want my own child to be around that kind of behaviour .

Presumably you're making plans to end the relationship?

If it's your house tell him to move out & take his feral spoilt kids with him. If it's his house then you move out. You can still date him if you wish but you won't be treated like a housrmaid in your own home, and your child won't be around the behaviour you dislike.

Sorry , I should have made clear , we are two Women in a relationship , the Fathers of the Children are fantastic in their roles as parents . I just thought I should clarify that as there seems to be alot of anger towards Men in some of the replies .

@BusyBeaker can you clarify the financial situation, who pays the pocket money, why your partner doesn’t work?

OP, are you married? It does make a difference.

Thanks for update OP. But can you answer some questions??

You need to explain better.

How do they give £60pw pocket money when they're not working?

Anyway, agree, £60 a week is way too much, working or otherwise. I'm not big on pocket money at all tbh, if they want extra items, it's time to get a PT job. The money, if spare, would be better saved to be given in future if needed. Or to save towards the parents' own retirement fund!

(makes no difference that you are 2 women btw)

You didn’t make anything clear, you’ve not answered one single question you’ve been asked

I don't think it matters what gender your partner is. The "anger" will still apply if your partner is female.

Why didn't you answer any of the very relevant questions people have?

The whole set up sounds wrong - why are they not working & how can they afford to give the children so much pocket money? Mine get £20/month from me & £20/month from my Mum. I also pay phones & footie subs etc. But both work to get more cash in.

My question remains the same, what positives does this living situation bring for your child?