It’s a bedroom one…

[Orchidflats]

Hey! Who is being unreasonable here me or DH?

DSC 17 - stays over 1-2x nights per month (this was more but dwindled the older they get).

DC 8 & 6 who we share.

We need to do a move around of bedrooms/storage/office space. DSC currently has a large room, with a huge king bed, which sits empty for 90% of the time.

I think we should move DSC into the smaller room, with a single bed. It’d be nice, new bedding etc but nothing crazy (on a budget - and we need to buy beds / desk etc elsewhere - the single is a nice expensive one that is currently used by DC8).

It’s both budget/space friendly to do this. DH thinks DSC will be unhappy. But we need the space currently sat empty most of the time.

WWYD?

I would give the larger room to the children who share.

DSC definitely has to go into the smaller bedroom. I had similar conversations with my husband when we moved into our 4 bed. We’ve got 3 doubles and 1 box room. At the time of moving, DS was still living at home and DSS would come twice monthly (4 nights a month). We work full time from home and share an office. DH wanted both boys to have a double room and for the two of us to share the box room as our office!! I said absolutely no way given that we would use the room for 20 days a month and DSS would use it for 4 days a month. DH said he felt guilty but I put my foot down. Anyway, after DS left home, DSS got promoted to the remaining double room.

Anyway, the point of my ramble is that the rooms have to be used sensibly and not used to make your husband feel less guilty. Your children are there more often, it’s their full time home so need more space. Is he thinking about their needs?

He’s honestly only thinking of DC. Currently we have laundry all over the house (no utility) as I can’t use a bedroom for it, DH has a room for his office and I work from the dining table! Doing no good for my back. One of our DC is in the smallest room with no storage space.

And all he can think about is that DSC will miss the king bed for 1 night a month 😅🤔

Of course stepkid should have the smaller room, he's hardly there!

It’s not quite clear how many bedrooms you have in total. Are you saying that you have two children sharing a room that is smaller than the room that’s used by your stepchild only a few nights per month? That seems really irrational.

Edited - oh sorry, you said “who we share”. So the younger kids have a bedroom each? It’s less clear-cut then, but yes, it doesn’t make sense to leave the biggest room largely unused.

Well yes she will
miss her space and bed but I think if you respect that and treat her like an adult and involve her in the discussion and problems she might well live up to being an adult

Is this the same poster who posted about this before, extended house to accommodate step DC? DH's house?

Absolutely ridiculous to have a huge room being wasted the vast majority of the time. 17yo should understand, they're nearly an adult, not ike you're turfing a 10yo out onto the sofa. Ask them to help choose paints and decorate

Of course the ones who share and actually live there should get the bigger room. It should have always been the case.

Classic Disney Dad nonsense. Your solution sounds fine. But it’s not clear why your H gets his own dedicated office while you’re struggling in the dining room.

What are you doing with the room they’d move out of? Would your children be sharing?

I don’t think they should lose their room to be used for storage/laundry but fair enough for younger siblings who need more space.

Is there any way to at least squeeze a double or queen size in there? They are going to feel put out moving from a king to a single bed!

@Shadyborder nope not me!

Trying to make it a bit clearer sorry:

No DCs share a room. We need to move DC8 out of the smallest room as there is not enough space.

Current set up:

(Due to layout of the house the rooms aren’t all off of one landing which complicates things). Don’t want to give too much away as outing but think split level / townhouse type thing where it’s not a traditional layout.

‘Section 1’
Master - small single room - smallish double (currently our DC have these rooms)

‘Section 2’
2 doubles - one is DHs office and one is DSC room.

My proposal
Our DC move into the section 2 rooms (they’d both have to move as I wouldn’t want them on a separate ‘level’ to us if it was just one of them.
Section 1 split to be as follows - master to remain, DSC to go into the small double (it will not fit the king bed which is why it would need to be DC8s current bed in there with new bedding etc) - also room for a desk for DH to have office area. The small single to become the laundry room / my office.

Hope that makes more sense. As it stands, I can’t have an office and/or laundry in DSCs current room and our DCs need to move anyway for more space.

Makes perfect sense and ensures the house functions as it should for this stage of everyone’s needs.

Switching the bed from king to single is not the end of then world for one or two nights a month.

That does make more sense but I think you should give the teen a double. Not because they need one and because it’s essential but because it’s a way of showing them they’re still important when the younger sibling is moving into their bedroom.

This mKes perfect sense and fits everyone's needs.

You DH is currently dominating alot of space while his young children are cramped and his wife can't work or do housework comfortably.