My stepmother is driving me around the bend! AIBU?

[NewInks]

I’m honestly at the end of my tether with my stepmother and need to know if I am being unreasonable .

Every year she makes pointed comments about expecting a Mother’s Day card, but lately it’s become relentless and rather intense. I’m fed up with the repeated reminders about everything she supposedly did for me. Whatever role she played when I was younger, she isn’t my mum. I want to spend the day celebrating my actual mother without being guilt-tripped or made to feel ungrateful.

This is genius!

My DC get this shit from their DSM.

Their father met and married her when they were already adults and they have never lived with her. 😆

There never is an objective truth about things like this, there just can’t be. What’s “a lot”? It might seem a lot to the stepmother but not to the OP. Or looking back, she might think that she did a lot, but in reality she made little effort.

It’s always subjective, even if you get a third party to decide.

What you have to understand about MN is that if it happened to someone on here, then it’s a universal truth. Anecdotes are data, here.

Maybe you should have led with this.

And why hasn't your dad said anything to her, especially with all the huffing and puffing?

Yes, I should have been clearer in my first post. I did clarify in my second post that there is no relationship between us.

This is very true.

Tell her straight that shes not your mum and therefore won't be doing anything for her. I would never expect or demand my SD do anything for me she's not my daughter and I'm not her mum.

Goes to show how being a SM is a thankless task!

There’s no way you have even read my posts

Do you see her quite often now if she's making relentless hints about getting a card? I think to shut her up I'd simply say "But you're not my mum."

Yes but only because I visit my dad once a week as he is starting to need a bit of extra support.

What is your relationship with your dad if you only saw him once a month and she made herself scarce?
Was she actually giving you both space?
If she has actually been neither nurturing nor kind, then muting her number would be wise.
Stop responding to her.