Financial issues help

[RyR]

Hi

first time posting here, been with my partner nearly 3 years now she has a child from previous relationship who’s 16, and we have a 2 year old together I have no kids from previous partners.

she has just gone back to work but as I earn a little more than she does she expects me to be paying 70% of the rent and bills, does this seem fair?

step child lives with us most of the time and my partner is quite happy to not ask the dad for a penny which quite annoys me.

what does everyone think? Am I just being unreasonable?

thanks.

What’s her justification for the 70% and who gets the child benefit?

She should be getting money from the child's father to support their child, not from you.

Her justification for the 70% is because I earn more then she does, she does get child benefit for both but a lot of the time it’s me paying for the step child who I should add eats more than everyone else. my partner works pretty much full time.

Answered above

She should be fully contributing for her older child.

You got her pregnant fast…

You got her pregnant fast…

Nasty.

Without her involvement or knowledge?!! 😱

Not fair. Should be at least 50:50 on rent and bills, or even 60:40 (her paying more) due to stepchild.

I would probably go 50:50 if you earn more , but she pays for extras . Eg school uniform, pocket money etc.

4 days a week, Childcare done between both our families when we’re at work so no cost for this luckily.

I am pretty much you. One teen stepchild, one shared toddler and I have no other kids. I earn more, so I do pay more. But what we do is all our wages go into one joint account and we each keep a set amount (e.g. let's say €100 a week) for our own personal spending (whether that be on takeout coffee, hair, clothes, gaming etc whatever).

No money exchanges between my husband and his ex for my stepchild but we have 50/50 custody so that's fair. If your partner has primary custody then yeah I think it's unreasonable that she isn't making the child's father contribute (especially to things like school clothing, activities etc)... but let sbe realistic, the kid is 16 and if he's never paid yet he probably won't pay now.

Anything that is needed for either child, or the house goes out of our joint account. I'm not bitter that it's 75% my money because they are all my family.

I think the difference here is that myself and my husband sat down at every opportunity and change in life and discussed openly the change and finances. So before we moved in together we planned it. Before we got married. Before we bought a house. Before we had a shared child.

You and your partner appear to have gotten pregnant very quick and I think that definitely feeds into it. Very quickly into your relationship you have this massive joint cost and then she's off work looking after the baby and obviously you're funding the house etc.

I think if you are watching the amount your stepchild eats and equating that to your money... step-parenting isn't for you. Does your partner even have more money to contribute if she earns much less than you?

What were you doing before your child was born?

I think the one earning more, should contribute more.

She might have hidden costs that you don’t see?
Clothes, school, toys, days out etc… Christmas?

I'd say the partner with the nearly adult child should pay more.

You are living together so pool your money . Your step child's dad should absolutely be paying child maintenance though.

I think you would not be unreasonable to sit down znd discuss this.
You have taken on the cost of another near adult child in a very short relationship.
Was the baby planned?