This is my first post on here but I am desperate for help. My partner has a 20 year old daughter who , after spending Xmas with them , I have realised is really pushing boundaries, turning point for me was being sat at the long family table and witnessed her stroking .patting her father's thigh under the table and to my horror been seen by another relative whos look was one of questionable behaviour. This was reciprocated. I understand the need for physical connection, security etc but ...
there is history here as she doesnt have a good relationship with her estranged mother, she seeks attention all the time with eating/ illness, sadness etc until she gets the sympathy she sought.She has a victim mentality and also has borderline eating disorder but again attention is key. History - mother and grandmother both have anorexic/ body dysmorphia tendencies and father, rightly or wrongly dealt with the mothers poor eating habits in a way that suggested he made her eat in front of the children to promote family table habits when she was struggling to manage her eating but also praises healthy eating and a slim physique. all very complex but ...
we have been together a year and she more recently has started to dress in her father tops, shuns shopping for new clothes, feigns illness for attention, when we are together finds every opportunity to sit next to him, drape herself over him, grasp his hand so its not free to hold and as soon as we go to bed she will text from her room with nightmare issues etc. I can see how this looks and jealousy is clear but the body language of a couple should not be the same as body language of father/ daughter and I am unsure if he really sees it as others seem to. I am trying so hard to try and think of a way to approach this and was reaching out for any help.
Hoping for advice