Family courts

[Beatendown12]

This is just a rant for anyone who says, just go to court, as if it'll achieve anything.

We are my step sons main home, his mother has 50/50 contact but often gives up her time with him.

Sometimes she let's us know she isn't coming, sometimes she just doesnt show up.

There are some safeguarding issues in her care and social services have been involved.

We have been in court for over 2 years between mediation, getting a court order, trying to enforce the court order, trying to amend the court order for more stability for my stepson and they have just ordered that he spend the whole of Christmas with her, we get less than 24 hours of a random day in the break.

My stepson has spoken with a social worker before and the report stated he is happier and safer in our home. He asked for more time here, the court ignored his request at the time.

He cried when we told him about his Christmas arrangements.

I am completely jaded and dont believe the courts have his best interests at heart.

How old is your step son and what reason have the court given for stating that he is to spend the whole Christmas time there if you are his main home?

He is 11.

They didn't give a reason. They wrote the order and sent it to each party's solicitor.

There was no meeting to discuss.
Im not honestly sure how much the judge does or does not know about my step sons home life.

My husband has gone 5 times this year alone for his "court date" and not once has it got to the judge. At best the solicitors speak to each other. Each time they postpone, anything from 2 to 8 weeks.

That all sounds so wrong. Poor kid. At 11, you can hardly force him out of the house. If he is to the point of tears and doesn't want to go then realistically what can you do?

We have to send him out.

She has sent the police to us before which is unsettling for everyone.

She also goes to school and collects him early, on our days, and withholds him at random when she decides to make up the time she lost which unsettles him and ruins his sports attendance.

We are also aware that court could turn it against us as withholding, refusing contact, parental alienation etc.

Thanks for replying to my vent though. Much appreciated.

Surely at 11 he has a say where he wants to be? That's what I always thought anyway. Police surely won't take an 11 year old away if they say they aren't going anywhere?

As Giveme says, on the bright side the court will start listening to your DSS soon. I had 7.5 years in the Family Courts and they prioritise contact over safeguarding to a point that is pathological. Officially they should start listening to the children when they are 14. They actually started listening to my DD when she was 10/11. I assume you have a CAFCASS officer because of the safeguarding risks. Could you ask them to consult your DSS?

They wont take him no, but its intimidation of a young child when they want to talk to him. It also is used against you in court when they say hes being turned against his mum.

We don't have Cafcass, Im not in England. There is a social worker who is to act as a mediator but is known for not being very unbiased...and it is showing. As I say we have evidence to disprove each and every lie but it gets poo pooed.

I know that feeling. So sorry you are going through this.