what's in a name?

[islean]

I?ve been with my DP for nearly a year and we plan on getting married this autumn. He has a 4 yr old daughter who today out of the blue asked if I minded if she calls me Mummy sometimes because when I marry her daddy I?ll be a kind of mummy. We discussed all the other things she might like to call me ? my name, step mummy, mummy-my name, and other words for mummy such as Madre etc. I said I don?t mind if that?s what she?d like and it is up to her to choose what she is comfy with. Part of me is so happy that a little girl I?ve known for such a short time thinks enough of me to want that. I am still new enough to this to be surprised at finding me looking after a child at all (50% custody) and I don't think I've tried to be anything more than a friend to her showing her love and respect. She is perfectly content with the idea of having a spare mum which I have to say I am still getting my head around and hadn't actually thought of talking to the little one about it yet.I certainly never intended to match or replace her mum but I doubt very much her BM will see it like that. Part of me is terrified because the BM is going through complete trauma over detaching, is in total competition mode, and my DP and are living in permanent fear of the next emotional assault.

Even tho she was the one to leave my DP after she had an affair she never left that relationship emotionally or physically but he moved on (and I moved in). DP and i had to remove her belongings which she refused to take out of his house, stop her entering the house because she would find a pretext to pop in and then take over and treat me as a guest in 'her' house, stop her making phone calls/texts/ emails every second of the day and night. She is trying to deal with it(failing miserably and blaming my existance for her every misfortune - after all if it wasn't for me she could have all the benefits of the old relationship and the new) - and is eaten up by jealousy over my role in her daughters life as it is. If even a whisper of it gets back to her there will be a major explosion. She refuses to recognise my existance until DP puts the ring on my finger as having anything to ?officially? do with her DD.

Not sure how to play this? Anyone else had to face this? Any advice?

[Caligula]

How bloody irresponsible she must be, msann. Even if she believes that your xp is "the one" and she will be with him forever, to tell a child that at an early stage of the relationship, is just so selfish and immature. WHY do people do this to children?

Are you any further along to finding a name, Islean? How did you find the Tia idea?

[islean]

only problem with Tia is that there are rather a lot of those in the family already - little one hasn't met them yet because most of them are in Spain

my grandmother was one of 14 kids who all married had kids who all married had kids..... and her Aunt had twelve.........