Should my step-son he allowed to stay

[Helpwantedsos]

Hi all,
My step-son has just moved into our house. Nearly 22 years old. He is currently in the box room as we have no other space.
We already have 2 other children together aged 9 and 14.
He is on a full- time wage, but also has a 1 year old that stays with us 1 night a week.
Our house feels very cluttered and isn’t really big for another person.
My partner thought about splitting the lounge in half and making a downstairs bedroom.
I don’t feel comfortable with the living situation and I’ve started studying for a degree and I have no space to do it and I’m finding that stressful.
I have health issues so we are currently surviving on 1 wage (my partner’s)
We charged £150 for the month and he buys his own food. I don’t know if we can afford it as he spends an hour a day in the shower.
Any advice very welcome!!!

Just a bit on the housing side. Via UC, He will only get an allowance for a room in a shared house which could be worse for your stepson to have his child stay over, and the child’s mother might not allow this. Like PP said, he isn’t resident parent.

Would you be making the same post if it was one of your children? Be honest….

So when your 14 & 9 yr old come back from uni they’ll be automatically told they need to move out too? Yes? Thought not

I don’t think it’s healthy for a grown adult and father himself to live at home with their parents with no plan to move out.

Establish what his plans are.

Regarding studying for a degree. Go to a library. You’ll get more work done there.

He stays with a time limit (2-3years sounds about right if he's 22). He pays significantly more towards the household (look at prices for a lodger near you and charge half to 2/3rds of that but it should at least cover your costs).
He's still young and it sounds like he needs support right now but it's best for everyone if you have a clear plan for the future.

What's the alternative, that your husband turns him away? Clearly there needs to be discussion about boundaries and a longer term plan, but would you want to be married to a man who turns his own son away when he's got nowhere to go? Would you turn your own child away?

Don’t split your living room - how long is he planning to stay?!

He has a job and a child- he’s a grown man. He should have a plan to use this time with you to get back on his feet and save for his own place- whether that is renting or buying.

and limits on showers. My goodness. Who is watching the toddler while he masturbates in the shower for 60 minutes?