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Step-parenting

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Step daughters behaviour getting worse

5 replies

Username974338884 · 08/09/2025 22:41

My teen DSD is hard work, she is rude to all family members and has little respect when speaking to people, dismisses her father, is in with a terrible group of friends and her attitude to life and school is awful.

She’s going through a bit of a rough time, which means that often her rudeness or bad behaviour is excused but I feel this is only setting herself up for a pretty bleak future.

My DH has tried to raise her attitude, rudeness and behaviour with ExP to tackle it collaborately. However ExP partner claims they do not experience this side of things, which I find hard to believe as she is on the brink of being expelled from school, has very few friends from bullying others.

the weekends DSD stays with us, we all feel like we are treading on eggshells or looking out for clues in the first few hours to tell if the weekend will be okay or absolute hell. My DP is constantly anxious as well as myself.

DSD birthday is coming up and last year she threw a strop as she’d asked for money but had recieved gifts, she didn’t say thank you to anybody and after a fun filled couple of weeks said it was rubbish and my DH did nothing for her. Which was complete rubbish.

What do I do in this situation if my partner doesn’t want to talk about it

OP posts:
Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 08/09/2025 22:47

A few questions.

How long have you been in her life? Are their other children involved? How often does she stay with you?

Why didn’t anyone give her money though? It’s what she wanted.

FuzzyWolf · 08/09/2025 23:08

If her birthday is coming up then perhaps listen to her and get her what she wants (within reason).

How long have you been married and in her life?

PennyForYourThoughtz · 09/09/2025 14:27

OP, if you put yourself in DSDs shoes for a moment, what do you think her perspective would be?

Might be an eye opener to think about this for a while as she sounds like a very unhappy child. Punishing her isn't necessarily the answer, listening would be more effective long term.

Username974338884 · 09/09/2025 17:40

@PennyForYourThoughtz I have many a times and i agree DSD must be a very unhappy child, she doesn’t have any friends and doesn’t manage to keep them.

Genuine question, in that instance how do you treat a child how to act if all bad behaviour is given a pass because that?

It’s very difficult to listen to a child that won’t talk. If we try to get her a therapist, she’d be furious. It’s pretty difficult

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 09/09/2025 20:00

What is a ‘rough time’? What kinds of things is she dealing with?

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