Room sharing

10 replies

Idiot123 · 26/08/2025 22:42

Asked this on Reddit but a load of Americans gave me abuse lol (how children should have their own rooms or my husband should move out and get a house with enough rooms- like make it make sense please lol).

long story that I won't go into as it's not relevant, but my husbands son (8) has just come into our lives after husband being unable to see him for 3 years (as I said, long story). His mum wants us to have him EOW, we would be happy with whenever SS wants to come round, even every weekend. I first met him a week ago last Saturday, where he also met his half siblings (DD 3.5, DS 5m), they all got along like a house on fire and SS said it feels like home here which was so cute, DD was devastated when he left to go home (40 mins away).
We were going to have him the weekend just gone for a day but apparently he put a hole in the wall through excitement so the mum said no to him coming over.
We have him this weekend, he wants to sleepover, his mum is fine with that as her other children sleepover with their dad EOW- gives her time with her new partner as he only sees his child EOW.
my concern is, even though all the children are initially happy with this- is it too soon? Or am I just being anxious?
we have a 2b house, DD has her own room and DS has his cot/co sleeps with us half the night in our room. Logistically wise, what do we do for sleep? Husband thinks it's fine for SS and DD to share a room, SS can sleep on an air mattress (would be a very tight fit IF it does fit). Other option is for DD to come into our room, but in my head I'm worried she will over time maybe feel pushed out that every time he's over (potentially every weekend) that she has to give up her room and space.
any advice please?

(we will be looking to move house next year, current house needs bits of jobs doing to it first before we can sell it but we can't financially do it whilst I'm on mat leave. Very unlikely to be able to get a 4 bed in our area too, but we would hopefully find a house where we can either half separate a room or potentially have SS and DS or DD and DS sharing when SS sleeps over- I don't want to worry about a 4 bed as potentially in a few years when he's a teen he may prefer to spend more time with his friends where he lives on a weekend like teens do)

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Anonymous23456 · 26/08/2025 23:06

I wouldn't put DSS to sleep in the same form as DD. I don't think that's appropriate. I would get a sofa bed for him in the short term.

DaisyDoodler · 27/08/2025 06:45

I agree with PP - a put up bed or sofa bed for now. They shouldn’t be sharing and you are right that giving up a room can cause issues

Breakfastpotatoes · 27/08/2025 06:52

I think at those ages it's fine for your DD to give up her room. She is really excited about her brother and he us a bit older so 'cooler' to her. She may well be pleased that he's going to stay over in her room. If she isn't told to mind I don't think she will. If you can move in the next year or so, I think that will be fine until then.

sesquipedalian · 27/08/2025 06:58

OP, it’s fine for now to let your DD give up her room (not a good idea to make her share) but as she gets older, this will become an issue. You say you’re moving next year - just make sure the move doesn’t drag on because there will come a point where your DC will resent DSS if he is encroaching on their space.

DaisyChain505 · 27/08/2025 06:59

If they’d know each other and been doing this for years, sharing a room wouldn’t be an issue but the fact they are complete strangers and he’s 8 I would say no they shouldn’t be sharing alone.

What about a front room sleep over with Dad for him so he’s getting some 1-on-1 with him?

Clawdes · 27/08/2025 08:35

Absolute no to room sharing as strangers at that age. He’ll have to have the sofa or an airbed and you need to accelerate moving house to a four-bed.

Clawdes · 27/08/2025 08:37

If you can’t afford a four-bed you’ll need the partition off some space downstairs for him, or have your two share and he has the other room.

Room sharing isn’t an issue but those ages, genders and the fact that they’re strangers is.

TheMeasure · 27/08/2025 08:40

He put a hole in the wall “through excitement?”

beachcitygirl · 13/09/2025 03:48

No no no. No stepson in room with your daughter. Hell no.

autienotnaughty · 13/09/2025 04:19

He shouldn’t be punished by not coming to yours. His dad should be a consistent routine in his life.

I would either bring dd in with you or create a area downstairs for ds I wouldn’t have them share.

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