Phone calls..........

[Youcannotbeserious]

OK, I need a bit of advice here...

The day I finished work (worked my last week from home) I started to get silent calls from witheld numbers. The first two, I thought maybe were just those computer generated calls, but the 3rd one, I was sure there was someone there, so I called BT and got caller ID and the service which allows certain calls to be barred.

The services took 24 hours to active, though, so I couldn't bar the caller from Monday.

We had two more calls that week - both from witheld numbers and both silent when we picked up.

Now it turns out that DSD1's mobile phone number is one of the banned numbers (am pretty sure the other one will turn out to be Dh's ex's home number)

We don't think that DSD2 made the call - we asked her about it and she said her phone was in her mum's car all night....

So, what do we do? DH will unbar DSD1's mobile phone - not sure if he'll unbar the other number too (both have been barred as witheld numbers so not sure how it works to unblock them?), but I'm feeling a bit weird about the fact his ex is making silent calls to us.

It's been 10 years since they split (but she is still very angry) and I have a 2 week old DS,

Anyone got any ideas why she might be doing this now and how we might tackle it?

thanks, YCBS

I would add, things have (or seemed to be!) been easier between us, to the point of being civil in public / inviting her to our house for a glass of wine (which went well)

it might be just the baby is making her feel insecure? But the calls started before he arrived? (I don't know that all of the calls are from her, BTW, we only know that DSD1's mobile was used to make one of the calls)

just ideas, but if she is still angry, then you are going to be hands full with a 2 week old DS. standard calls are annoying at the wrong times (and with a 2week old its mostly wrong time) and silent ones are worrying. So how best to stick it to you!! (childish and stupid)

just ideas, but if she is still angry, then you are going to be hands full with a 2 week old DS. standard calls are annoying at the wrong times (and with a 2week old its mostly wrong time) and silent ones are worrying. So how best to stick it to you!! (childish and stupid)

of course assumption its her. Could be a combo of accidental calls, computer calls and failed calls. Just coincidence ....... perhaps

Maybe...

I just thought that maybe the other barred number is DSD2's mobile?

Maybe she is trying to make some sort of issue that, now DH has a baby, he doesn't love his DDs?

(we've worked very hard to make sure that his daughters aren't inconvinienced by the new baby, because this is something his ex would play on over and over)

Maybe that's it?

I can't believe she'd really make calls in the vain hope she disturbed us......... She's never done that before, and relations have been much frostier in the past....

Hi YCBS - firstly, many congratulations on the birth of your baby!!

This, to me, sounds like a very 'teenage' thing to do. Can't remember the age of your DSD's but am I right in thinking the eldest one is bordering teenager-hood?

If the number is her mobile, then why can it not be her making the calls? You only have the 'word' that phone was in mums car.

With the changes that have happened, arrival of baby (just before birth & now), could it be that perhaps DSD1 is perhaps more anxious about it than you are led to believe? Silent phone calls from her mobile phone number would suggest this to me.

In one of the other threads you have said that DSD1 seems reserved around baby Harry...I think perhaps this is your answer.
Maybe she is not as completely comfortable and 'ok' as she is having you believe on the surface, and the 'silent' calls are her form of expression as she is confused about her feelings?

Just a thought, differet perspective...obviously you know far better than me if any of this may be likely!...

Yes, Hereagain - DSD1 is teenage and does seem to be a bit less relaxed about the baby than we'd thought she'd be (she seemed fine until he arrived)

She swears it wasn't her though. It wasn't an accidental call. Whoever called, put 141 in front of our number.

I guess the best thing to do is just unblock the numbers, move on and hope it doesn't happen again.......

Sorry to sound cynical but most teenagers are fantastic at 'swearing blind' something wasn't them!

If it really wasn't, then that's great...and maybe the message that you've been receiving these calls and know one was from her mobile, may filter back to the mother without you needing to say anything further!

If it was DSD1 then maybe it will stop now that it's been talked about? May be worth doing a bit more talking with DSD1 to try and re-assure her further - definitely organise some time alone with her soon so that she doesn't feel pushed out by the amount of time & attention baby is getting as that would just add fuel to any fire that may be simmering beneath the surface.

Hope it all sorts itself out x

thanks guys!

Gereagain - that's just what we have planned... DHG is spending some quality time with DDs without me or baby being about which will hopefully reassure her.