Does anyone else find it REALLY hard??¬

[terrier141]

Im being really honest here - have been a step mum for 6 months to a dsd and dss (also have ds and dd of my own). Just find it really hard work. DH and I have very different ideas on discipline and this causes us to row. My natural kids are no angels but I feel unable to discipline the step dc's (and dh never does!) as they are not mine and I dont want to be seen as the baddy all the time. I want to have the same rules/expectations/routines for all 4 kids and want things to be fair - but his kids are really out of control and very mouthy to me (which dh ignores!)
I know we are going through a settling in period where everyone has got to find their own roles (have studied psychology long enough - so know the theory behind it - doesnt make it any easier though!) - just feel like i'm tearing my hair out. The 4 kids are constantly fighting (physically and verbally) and while I feel able to discipline my 2 - dh is not backing me in discipling his 2 - therefore mine are getting the worst of it all the time.
Hows that for getting it off my chest??!

i find it VERY hard. i have been a stepmum for 5 years now. He doesnt live with us though, but visits very regularly.

His parenting at home is terrible, so when he comes here he lacks eve basic manners. everything is about fighting, he answers back and never listens. his mum even tells him not to listen to me.

i find it very hard indeed.

btw i have 3 dc of ours and then my dss.

Thanks - good to know these are natural feelings - we will get there Im sure - its hard to see how at the moment - but Im feeling a bit more optomistic now - its early days I know. Thanks for listening to my rants!