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Step-parenting

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Struggling to get past poor treatment

3 replies

Helpfuladviceonly · 27/07/2025 10:23

Ready and prepared for the hate that I’m sure will come my way but I am here looking for genuine advice.

my teenage (14) DSD was pretty vile to me for 8 months of my pregnancy, very rude whilst visiting, unkind things said about me and the unborn child, completely not acknowledging me or disregarding me completely. It doesn’t help that my DP doesn’t behaviour correct in the moment which I believe has lead DSD to think this behaviour toward me is okay. DSD has been branded a bully at school, which I previously found hard to believe but after everything that has gone on, I am starting to believe the allegations. We had a perfectly fine relationship before hand and I have done an awful lot for DSD and trying to help her rebuild relationships with her in laws based on things she’s explained or told me. I have done my best to advocate for her when I can to her father and make sure their relationship has thrived. However some of the things that have been said and done, I’m finding hard to move past and caused a lot of anxiety and stress throughout the pregnancy.

I understand it most likely comes from a place of insecurity but I also don’t know how to tackle this and neither does my DP. In laws have had to step in and correct behaviour or things that have been said whilst I’ve not been there.

my little one has now arrived but I find myself on edge everytime she visits, I struggle to connect with her as I used to. I just want to know if this is possible to turn back around, or am I stupid to think it will ever turn around?

OP posts:
Batherssss · 31/07/2025 17:44

Your partner allowed this.
Of course you will be wary.
Be very careful of her around your child.
She has bullied other children, been vile to you?
Do not leave her alone with your child.

This is on your partner for tolerating.

Helpfuladviceonly · 31/07/2025 20:51

@Batherssss I completely agree, I’m just finding it hard to be the mature adult and move on from this

OP posts:
Batherssss · 31/07/2025 21:43

Don't blame you.
Your priority is your child.
To keep them safe.
Her father has let both her and you down by allowing her to behave like this towards you.

You can't change the past but you can protect your child.
I would be very wary of him as a partner.
He isn't a good one.
Keep your family and friends close.

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