To parents whose children have step parents

[ohdearmemummy]

context: My step children’s Mum is on her 5th partner. Each one introduced to the children. None flagged with their dad before this. 4/5 they’ve been on ‘holiday’ with. They are both under 10.

Dh and ex split due to her affair. Dh met me quickly after. We waited around 10 months before I met children but he introduced me to her first. All hugs and niceness until he started divorced proceedings. It’s been hideous since. She split with affair partner and now as I say on 5th partner.

It is as about bad as it can be for two relatively decent parents who both adore their children.

Me and DH are now 6 years in. Married with one shared child. I have no other children.

My question is, as a MUM would you really introduce your children to this many men? I mean, on paper my step children’s mum has a lot to offer, she’s got a decent business, nice house (ridiculous amount of child maintenance) good car, is attractive, could have her pick or men. Don’t get it. Not sure why she thinks it’s ok for people to come and go? These men semi move in, do school pick ups, go on holidays, then disappear.

Is this ok ?

I haven't dated since becoming a single parent in 2018. I wouldn't want to introduce my children to someone for a long time, probably until we were about a year in, as you think everything is rosy in the first 6 months.

It's not good for their stability, but there's nothing you can do about that. You just have to be the best parent you can be.

Have the children ever made any comments about the number of boyfriends they are meeting? It does sound that the boyfriends are integrating quite a bit into family life doing school pick ups etc.

My mum had many boyfriends over the years, she was married to one within 2 years of divorcing my dad and they were together for 11 years. They separated and then a constant steam of men introduced as her new 'partner'. I was an adult at this time and refused to meet anymore unless she had been seeing them for over 6 months.

Maybe she's more choosey than you, and doesn't just stick with the first one that comes along. Stop bitching about her looks and assets, and work on your own obviously miserable little life

😂😂 op really touched a nerve with you. Let me guess - have your dc had more than one strange bloke traipsed through their lives too?

It sounds awful op. The woman's putting her latest bloke ahead of her kids. And every strange bloke she introduces them to and shacks up or holidays with puts those children at risk. Poor buggers.

Yeah, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.

Enjoy feeling superior cos it worked out first time for you. Not everyone gets that lucky. I made a decision 16 years ago to remain single and provide stability for my children because their dad wasn’t capable. Cannot tell you the loneliness I feel right now. There needs to be balance. No one should feel like this.

Don't we love bitchy second wives who like to criticise and spout how wonderful they are.

Seriously OP - if you want to be that bitchy - because everyone of your "nice" comments with a bitchy corollary.

As a child I found it difficult to have my mums new boyfriends around sometimes, but I found it even harder that when I went to my dads, his partner was actually living with us, so out of the two I think what your husband has done is potentially harder for the kids. I wouldn’t do either though. I didn’t particularly want to be around my parents partners, whether short or long term, I just wanted to see my parents. You don’t have any moral high ground here OP. As for telling us about your husband paying lots of maintenance….🙄🙄🙄… that says a lot. Poor kids, they always suffer for the wants of their parents.