Stuck

[Littlesinglemamma]

so iam at a major block in my life. My adult son 21 moved out around 4 months ago. He has no desire to do anything for himself is disrespectful and does nothing to help around the house worked 1 day a week and that's all. My boyfriend and I have tried everything we could think of besides just flat out kicking him out to figure it out on his own. He moved in with his grandparents they thought they could help him get his shit together. We'll it didn't work now they are wanting to send him back. I and my boyfriend have just starting loving our life together and getting along well again since he has left. I don't know what to do he isn't even back yet and me and my boyfriend are starting to not get along again because of it. I love my boyfriend so much and do t know what to do? Please help me!!

You raised this kid/man. He didn’t suddenly show up on your doorstep as a lazy ,disrespectful 21 yo. So what’s the background? Was he always like this? Did something happen? How was he in school? Did he have rules and boundaries growing up?

You could be describing my brother. His 'get up and go' didn't arrive until he was about 30. My parents made him move out when he was a similar age to your son. He rented a room in a shared house and claimed benefits, then got a job in a bar to cover his rent and other expenses.
I wouldn't let him move back home. He needs to find a room to rent or present to his local council as homeless. A bit of tough love might make him wake up and take some responsibility.