Feeling invisible

[TidyAmberPoet]

I have been in a same sex relationship very happily for 5 years. My kids are 22 and 20, happy and independent. My partner has a 17 year old girl who lives with us 50/50. I moved in with them 1 year ago and it has become dreadful. The daughter and my partner expect me to be invisible on the weeks she is with us. It has been suggested to me by my partner that to keep the peace I not ask her any questions or talk to her and she told me a couple of days ago that when she is with us she will be fully focussed on meeting her daughters needs. The daughter, sadly behaves rudely to me in front of everyone including my own children who think she is from another planet…my son told her that it upsets him when she is disrespectful to me and she laughed at him. She is doing poorly at school because she refuses to complete work, cannot keep a friend for more than a couple of weeks….
Any advice appreciated

Honestly I'd probably move out and go back to seeing your partner when she doesn't have her DD. Her DD is important to her of course but doesn't mean you should be expected to be invisible and walk on egg shells in your own home.

I’d move out and continue to date if you are happy in the relationship. It shows you have boundaries and are not willing to be pushed around You could reconsider whe her dd is a adult

Sounds like you need to move out.

you are being treated very disrespectfully and meanly.

do it calmly and without fuss but you cannot stick with a situation where you are being treated like a non person in your own home

I’d move out (and I say this as a SM who has put up with some appalling behaviour from my SD).

This is a terrible way to treat another person. The way your partner patents their child would be a massive turn off for me. It sounds like the child has some massive issues that aren’t being addressed, I can’t see this improving in the short term. This is no way for you to live & I can’t believe any person would treat you this way if they loved you.

Move out. Move on.

Move out and split up. Your partner is creating a monster of entitlement and it will only get worst.

This is outrageous, almost dehumanising behaviour

Yeah, i think you need to move out. I couldn't live like that.

So 50% of the time you have to pretend not to be in a relationship? So like a lodger?

Please move out. This arrangement on these terms will be incredibly damaging for you in the long term.

Move out and reclaim your time and money for you. You are subsidizing this and treated poorly on top. No way to live.