Ex wife sending texts pretending to be child

[yourelikereallypretty]

Hi all, my ex wife repeatedly pretends to be my 11 year old daughter by using her phone to text me really terrible messages. I’ve confronted her about it and she denies it. I know it’s not my daughter because of the way it’s written and the topics that the texts are about and when I see my daughter she never says anything about these texts or is seemingly upset with me. The texts will say things like I hate you, I don’t want to go to your house, why don’t you love me. Things like that. What should I do?

Have you shown your daughter the texts?

Yes, and she looks surprised but I don’t ask her questions bc my suspicions are that it’s not her

hmmm. You haven’t said ‘did you send me these texts darling? Is everything ok?’ like anyone normal would?

I would call her mum's bluff and treat is as though your DD has sent the texts. Ask her if everything is ok and let her know that your concerned about these texts because you weren't aware of any issues. Let her know that she is always welcome to come and speak to you if she does have any concerns.

It will demonstrate to your DD that you care about her as I reckon if your ex is sending these texts she probably also badmouthing you in front of your DD. It shows you're not whatever your ex paints you to be and I'm sure she can do the maths herself about the kind of person her mother is without you even having to say anything.

What??

You gently say that you are concerned about these messages, and you ask if she sent them. If she did, you talk the issues through with her. If she didn’t, you talk to your solicitor.

When you next get one of these texts, FaceTime your daughter immediately. Mum will soon pack it in

This.

I'm not a lawyer or psychologist, just someone whose family was fractured by parental alienation. I'm really sorry you're going through this.

I'd start by creating a paper trail; save all the texts and messages you receive, keep a diary of conversations with your ex and your daughter, and, if possible, gather writing samples from both. Anything that helps demonstrate why you believe these texts aren’t from your daughter could be useful if this escalates.

I'd keep maintaining the open and supportive relationship you already have with your daughter so she doesn’t feel caught in the middle. It might also be worth checking in with her school to see if they’ve noticed any behavioural changes; this could give you a fuller picture of how she’s coping emotionally.

I'd respond to the texts with something like.

• "Hey, I’m confused by these messages. Are you free to chat about it now?"
• "I love you very much, and I hope we can talk about this in person. I'm always here for you."

This keeps things neutral, avoids escalating conflict, and - on the very unlikely chance they actually are from your daughter - reassures her that you care.

If this behaviour continues or escalates, I’d strongly recommend reaching out to a family mediator or a solicitor who deals with custody issues to explore your legal options. Families Need Fathers and Parental Alienation UK are also good organisations that can offer further advice and support.

I'm on the opposite side right now. Just today had a solicitor letter accusing me of using my daughters phone to pretend to be her....All because my daughter decided she didn't want to have contact with ger dad and told him so. And he went ahead and verbally attacked her via text thinking it was me, instead of messaging me direct. She has also blocked him after this, so I got it in the neck for changing her number too...which I haven't. Sorry to hijack your thread, hope you get things sorted soon...What the others are saying is how I would have thought my ex should have responded instead of going for my jugular through his 11 year old :(

You ask her... did you send these texts, darling? If you did, I'm not upset or angry with you but I'd like to talk about your feelings.

You need to report this to social services as its parental alienation and is emotionally abusive.