After 7 years, my fiancé and I moved in together. He has 4 children from 3 different women. I have 1 son from a past marriage. The youngest who is 19 lives with us. He mother died when she was 2 years old. My finance was with a women while my step daughter was 2-7 years old. My fiance never introduced me to his children until I finally moved in with him. Little did I know they all smoke pot, don’t work, and my fiance is letting them live rent free in his previous home.
The 19 year old who lives with us went to college for 1 semester then decided not to enroll again. She doesn’t work, stays in her room all day, and my fiance never asks her to do anything around the house or hardly ever bothers her. My son who is in 8th grade excels in school, joins year round sports, started a little CarWash side hustle business and washes all of the family cars on the weekends. He loves making extra cash.
My fiance and I have gotten into many arguments about how he’s enabling his children and setting him up for defeat. He told me to mind my own business and that if I didn’t like his parenting to leave. I have decided to keep all my feelings internally but it’s killing me inside. Lately the 19 year old daughter has been bringing up his ex girlfriend up all the time. She has always done this. She even has pictures of his ex framed in her room. She barely put one up of me in a group pic after 3 years of living together. She’s mean to me and my son. Very bipolar. My finances ex will not meet up with his daughter and she’s been trying to see her since we moved in together. I feel bad for her because she’s basically choosing her past over me. It makes me feel terrible. I’m always there for her. Got her ready for her school dances, put braces on her, taught her how to drive, cook for her, gave her rides when she didn’t drive, I always treated her equal to my son.Can someone please help me understand the severity of this. It may be me just taking things too seriously.