sorry for the long post bare with me please
Hi first time posting here looking for some advice. I’m male father of 2 from previous relationships they were 2 long term relationships that didn’t work out in the end my kids are 17 and 12 I have them 3 nights per week every Tuesday Thursday and one night at the weekend alternating between Friday and Saturday. I take both of them the same days so they have a relationship I always have. I separated from my youngest child’s mother in 2018 met a girl in 2020 we hit It off right away and things were great at the start. About 2 years in it started to become difficult to manage as my youngest child’s mom is sometimes hard to deal with an sometimes would have not been home when the child had to come back home etc at the weekends she would have been partying or out all night drinking etc this would have annoyed me so much. She also tried to stir the pot between me and my current partner at the start but that has since stopped and now we only be in contact when it’s about our daughter. A few times throughout my current relationship me and my partner has argued about the kids. My current partner has a son from previous relationship that doesn’t see his dad so she has him all the time and that’s ok I fully support her there. We dont live together we both have our own houses. I go an see her a few nights per week in her house she never comes to mine because she has her son she used to stay one night a week until contact stopped between her son and his dad. In the first 2 years of our relationship I would have taken my kids to the cinema or bowling etc and always invited her son until I noticed she never asked my kids to go anywhere so I stopped inviting her son purely because the effort was not being reciprocated. We used to go on holidays together with her sisters and all there kids an families we had an argument on holiday a few years ago and haven’t went away together as a family since. She hasn’t invited my kids but has asked me to go without them on her family holidays which I declined because I didn’t want my own kids to feel left out. But recently my youngest daughter has been struggling coping with going through the changes becoming a teenager she is a fantastic child and I wouldn’t change a thing about her. But her mum was concerned about her staying in different houses during the week as she thought it may be hard for her with school etc so she wanted to explore the options of my daughter staying with me at the weekends instead of midweek. I somewhat agree with her mom in this instance so i brought this to my current partner and told her that possibly my contact will change to weekends with my daughter and if it did I would also change my contact with my son to the same days as my daughter to keep there relationship good. It meant that possibly one night at the weekends wouldn’t have been able to stay in my partners house as I would have had the kids she was furious about this and told me I have her to consider and that I’m just giving into my ex and that I shouldn’t agree to weekends and just one night at the weekend so I can see her in her house. I told her if the night at the weekend was really important she can come an stay in my house if it meant that much. She declined and said if I choose to see them at weekends and give up our night at the weekend and we fall to shit then it’s my fault. This is after telling her if we had plans or anything any given weekend i would accommodate our plans. This wasn’t good enough and caused a major argument that led to us breaking up it’s Been 2 weeks now and I’m now fighting with myself wondering if I’ve made the right decision leaving as 90% of our relationship is fine apart from this one underlying issue around my kids and the gut feeling that she doesn’t really accept them and me as a package. Sorry for the long post but just need some advice from mums especially am I in the wrong or right for prioritising 2 nights at the weekends with my kids over a night at the weekend with my partner