Opinions on moving in together

[chippystick]

Me and my DP have started to discuss living together. My DS11 goes to his Dad's every other weekend and half of every school holiday. DP's DS14 stays with him every weekend, and every school holiday (for the entire duration of each holiday).

I like DPs son and we get on well. However, I work from home full time. DP is self employed so works quite a few weekends, plus all school holidays. It's suddenly dawned on me that whilst I am working for the six weeks summer holiday for example, his son would be here, and DP wouldn't be (and neither would my DS half the time). As he's 14 he's fairly self sufficient but something is making me feel odd about it just being me and him at home most of the time. I'm fully prepared to be told I'm awful. I'm worried about bringing it up to DP and the last thing I want is it to sound like is that I don't like his son, that's not true at all.

Would you hold off moving in together?

@loveawineloveacrisp Did it ever fee a bit awkward if it was just you and him at home all day?

Yes! Which is why my advice was to not do it. I prefer having the house to myself.

Poor kid being left on his own for so long, especially in the holidays.

It doesn't sound like your partner does any parenting to speak of. That would be a red flag to me.

@Willyoujustbequiet It's not ideal but he prefers being at his Dad's house to his Mum's.

I wouldn't do it - leave it a few more years when hopefully he's got a better social life and is out and about a bit more.

This would be a firm no from me.

Which may not be the case if you are there.

this doesn’t seem that workable

I had a very brief chat with him last night, I innocently asked whether his son would still be here all holidays even if I was working from home and DP was at work. The answer was yes, and he'd be fine if it was the other way round and he was at home with my DS.

They always say that Op, oh I'd be fine with it, but that's when it's not happening and they'll never have to make good on their promise

OP, there is nothing in this arrangement that benefits you.

Whats to stop him having groend to hang out at his home whilst his dad is gone, a very normsl thing to do, particularly as it will be an empty house save you?

Madness to consider it IMO.