Need advice

[ByGoldJoker]

Advice on how to understand why I am outnumbered or feel I don't want to be part of there family. 2x step boys, lazy 13 year old and partner always make it difficult to disapline.

You should not be trying to ‘discipline’ your partner’s children; I think they’re making that clear.

I am not pro-blending families or step-parents. However, when it works, it’s because everyone knows their part to play- be the fun one or the one they can come to when they’re upset. Don’t try to be an equal parent imo.

You're not the parent, discipline needs to be your dps issue. You need to decide if this family works for you are your beliefs aligned? Do you enjoy each others company? Are you benefiting from time together? And if not why are you there?
If it's a case of it would be great if they change xyz - walk away .
Because firstly it's highly unlikely they will change and secondly if you're unhappy in the situation it's likely you will still be unhappy even if some stuff changes. And thirdly it's not your situation to change

Are you saying the 13yo is lazy or the 13yo and your partner are lazy?

One thing I found attractive about my DH was how well he parented. A lazy father would have been a major turn off for me. If his kids have reached the age of 13 and he's not worked out how to discipline them then he's a lost cause. This won't get any better.