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Step-parenting

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Original poster

DP will be having DSD mainly but still has to pay maintenance, shouldn't it be the other way round?

10 replies

Pinkdreams · 18/02/2025 06:35

My DP and his Ex have agreed for us to have DSS 5 nights per week and her two. DP used to have DSS 2 nights per week IF she actually let him so this varied. He has always paid child maintenance, both the agreed rate by CMS and more for anything he needs/asks for. We have done the online calculator to see what she would have to pay him and with this arrangement he would still be paying his ex child maintenance even though we would be having her mainly, how is this right am I missing something?

OP posts:
Simonjt · 18/02/2025 06:39

Is there a big difference in income? Has he remembered to tick that he is in receipt of child benefit?

Original poster
Pinkdreams · 18/02/2025 06:42

Simonjt · 18/02/2025 06:39

Is there a big difference in income? Has he remembered to tick that he is in receipt of child benefit?

No, actually with her working full time they earn the same. He doesn't receive child benefit as she still claims it

OP posts:
Simonjt · 18/02/2025 06:48

Has he remembered to click he is the receiving parent, not the paying parent on the calculator? I’ve just done eight random ones and none has a parent with 1-2 overnights not paying maintenance.

Original poster
Pinkdreams · 18/02/2025 06:59

Simonjt · 18/02/2025 06:48

Has he remembered to click he is the receiving parent, not the paying parent on the calculator? I’ve just done eight random ones and none has a parent with 1-2 overnights not paying maintenance.

Yes this is what we have been doing wrong! Thankyou 👏🏻

OP posts:
Thatsenoughadulting · 18/02/2025 07:18

You can also phone and report that you are the resident parent and have the child benefit paid to you instead of mum.

Original poster
Pinkdreams · 18/02/2025 07:27

Thatsenoughadulting · 18/02/2025 07:18

You can also phone and report that you are the resident parent and have the child benefit paid to you instead of mum.

Ohh she told us that whoever claims for it originally will continue getting it as it can't be changed, this is good to know, thank you

OP posts:
reallynow1 · 18/02/2025 07:37

We had my dsd 5 nights and her mum 2 nights. We rang and reported that we were now the main carers and asked for the child benefit to be switched over. It took about 3 months as her mum had to confirm if I remember. (it was about 15 yrs ago now). And your dh shouldn't be paying anything now. The mum is now in the position where you could claim maintenance from her.

GabbyP · 18/02/2025 08:27

If she’s the type to mess you around then get a consent order OP, it’s not that expensive

Thatsenoughadulting · 18/02/2025 13:05

Pinkdreams · 18/02/2025 07:27

Ohh she told us that whoever claims for it originally will continue getting it as it can't be changed, this is good to know, thank you

Show quote history

Yeah I wouldn't believe a word she says after that. That's total nonsense.

Thatsenoughadulting · 18/02/2025 13:07

GabbyP · 18/02/2025 08:27

If she’s the type to mess you around then get a consent order OP, it’s not that expensive

This. It's £232 for the court application and your OH can self represent. Means she can't go back on the arrangement and it's also useful for proving who is the main parent for CMS, CB, school, medical etc.

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