DH has a daughter who is 16 and in year 12. She mostly lives with her mum, seeing us about once a month and joins us on holidays three times a year. We’d love to see her more, and used to, but we understand her social life near her mum’s is more exciting!
She’s bright but has never been particularly studious and although she’s scraped into sixth form, isn’t enjoying her A-Levels and is increasingly talking of dropping out. She’s had a few shifts waitressing at the local pub and some babysitting and seems content to do more of that. Obviously DH and I want her to focus on her studies, and have been trying to make her think long-term, but this has been an ongoing battle for about a decade and frankly, it doesn’t feel like one we’re going to win. Her mum also does part-time shift work and has younger children.
DH and I are aware we need to continue sending maintenance money (it’s £550 and we also buy her a lot of clothes and pay her phone bill and travel, probably £8-900 total) until the summer after she’s 18 (or 21 if she’s in education but that’s highly unlikely). But after that?
DH and I both moved out for uni and have been self-sufficient since then but I’m aware more and more people are staying at home and it’s no longer the norm to be self-sufficient.
Would you continue paying to SD or her mum post-18 in these circumstances?