My DCs and partner not getting along

[ThatNewYearFeeling]

Just that really. I've been with my partner for 6 years. DCs are 14&16.
They sometimes have a giggle together, but mostly get under each others skin.
I feel so stuck in the middle and hate arguments so try to avoid them which is also stressful. Fed up.
Any advice welcome.

Teenagers are designed to push buttons

You aren't a victim here stuck in the middle. This relationship is your choice and you brought your children into it.

It would help if you gave some examples of what's happening.

Can you meet your partner without your children being present?

This. The many cases on here where the op have complained their partner doesn’t get on with their kids, to me it always sounds like their partner is spectacularly immature. I mean it’s shit enough having to deal with your own annoying teenagers, so of course it’s worse for someone else. But honestly, if you can’t rise above a couple of boundary pushing teenagers, then you shouldn’t be anywhere near them

The only people stuck in a situation not of their making are your teenagers. But not long until they can get out of it!

Has this always been the case or just recently?

My DH (then DP) moved in when my DC were teenagers - yes, he is a saint! - and he managed by sitting so tightly on the fence that a stiff breeze wouldn’t have shifted him. At times, I used to get annoyed that he wouldn’t take my side, but with the benefit of hindsight, he was absolutely right. Teenagers can be intensely annoying - your DP needs to learn to ignore or walk away from them. Also, OP, if they’re your children, sometimes you need to get involved - it’s a bit of a cop-out saying that you “hate arguments”. Sometimes, unfortunately, it’s necessary to address your DC’s behaviour or have it out with them why a certain course of action/ staying out late/ going out with friends isn’t appropriate.