Long story as short as possible
I am a step parent and I am expecting with my DH. I do not have children (if we exclude the unborn child) and we have SC most weekends. However since we found out we had a baby on the way and with mixed emotions from SC we asked if we could increase to have SC additional days in the week as well. Their mother is very easy going and understanding so if they decide they want to spend longer with us, it’s never an issue and we will welcome it with open arms. SC are home schooled.
My DH works long distance so is out all day but get back around 5pm, as SC have requested for the last couple of weeks to stay with us. I said I was happy to home school, take the SC out and generally keep them entertained and fed on the weekdays with to me was no issue at all and SC are well aware they will be with me as I their dad is at work. I am under no illusion and completely understand they want to stay with us more so they get to see their dad more.
However this is where my frustration begins, I am halfway through my pregnancy and still having a rough time with sickness (mainly nausea but I have medication that makes it more manageable) and understandably keeping children entertained all day is hard work. The children are normally looking forward to their dad coming home or asking what time he will be back but instead my DH will often come home and have planned to go straight to the gym (usually around 1.5 hours of the evening). I have no problem with him keeping up his fitness routine as it’s essential for having a healthy mind too and when it is just the two of us this is normal and is part of the daily routine but with limited time with the kids in the evening (and one of the kids making a comment about dad going to the gym) I just mentioned it might be good to either rearrange or give it a miss to get some extra time with them.
I have done a lot the last few weeks such as cinema trips, park trips, shopping, taking them to new activity classes, educational day trips as much as I can to keep the kids busy on top of the normal feeding, teaching etc. It has all been going pretty smoothly and although miffed a couple of times it wasn’t anything I was that bothered about.
There been evenings my DH has had a hard day at work and can be quite snappy which I recently I’ve taken personally as I don’t deserve to be at the receiving end especially when I’m trying to help out so much. There was a day he had finished early and I asked if he could help me with the food shopping as I was exhausted and again his response was pretty snappy, I didn’t say much to keep the environment in the house calm but thought I’d bring it up at a later date. My SC do have attitudes from time to time usual teen/child behaviour however I have noticed recently they never say please or thank you and are never called out for it, they are pretty much allowed to speak to us as they please. I don’t get involved in the discipline side and I don’t think it’s my place however the last couple of days SC have been really rude, and also to me.
We went on a day trip the other day and I know with children not every day is a good day and I very much expect the good with the bad, however this was a particularly bad day behaviour wise, no please no thank you, being told to shut up, ignored or told to p off (The shut up and p off is normally directed more towards him). I know it’s because I’m worn out but it really upset me as my DH didn’t call SC out for this as he didn’t want to end the few weeks on a bad note and be “bad guy” I’ve been doing so much recently for my DH, and to me it feels like it’s without much appreciation. Maybe I’m just being sensitive but I’ve also done so much for the children too so thought he would at least sit them down and explain it’s not how you treat people and to have a bit more respect.
I do want to add I had severe morning sickness from around 8-16 weeks and my DH was amazing, he picked up pretty much 100% of everything as I couldn’t do a thing, and had to deal with a very emotional and mentally drained me. Which I know will have been hard for work.
I partly feel like I am being unreasonable but I’m not sure?