Am I wrong

[STEPPARENTCOX]

Hi
I have a stepson who's 12 He comes to stay with his Dad and me fortnightly
My question is how much time should they spend together?
They spend nearly all day playing the PlayStation or darts or pool or watching football then at night because the stepson doesn't have his own room they sleep in our summerhouse
Am I wrong for thinking that isn't normal or am I being selfish?

then at night because the stepson doesn't have his own room they sleep in our summerhouse

What space of his own, or shared space, does he have in the house?

Your own kids are grown up so I assume he doesn't share with?

But no, his dad focusing those 4 days on him isn't wrong, in my opinion.

I think it’s slightly odd that they choose to sleep in the summerhouse together.

I think it's perfectly normal that they spend every moment of the very little time they have together.

I wish my dcs dad had spent so much time with them.

What would you prefer DH to be doing instead?

This question is very odd are you asking if they should spend more time together or are you asking if every second weekend is normal?

Every parents “normal” is different, it can depend if it’s court ordered, if the child lives a distance away etc.

Because posters with such a goody post especially on the stwoparent boad are usually trolls

Spending all that time together isn't wrong. I do however think sc should be sleeping on his own in the house and your dh in bed with you as normal.
I'd suggest making sure sc has his own space in your house with his things etc to make it nice for him. If not a bedroom then he could sleep on the sofa maybe. But sleeping outside I don't think is 'normal'.

Its all very well saying they should spend every waking moment together on access weekends, but that ends up being very intense and artificial. And its hardly 'blending' if other members of the household are not included.

My dad lived 25 miles from my school and had me every wednesday and every other weekend friday night - monday morning. People make it work if they want to.

@Kitchensinktoday they're not "blending" though, are they?

The child visits for 2 days EOW.

He barley sees his kid and you resent the.little bit of time they have together. You are being extremely selfish. That poor kid.

I think this sounds a lovely close relationship (despite that fact he only sees him 2 nights out of 14) and brilliant that his Dad gives him that 1 to 1 time. It won't be long before he's off with friends and maybe steps down the visits further so it's lovely to have that quality time while he can. I'd treat those EOWs as your "you" time and relax, shop, read, watch films, do hobbies or whatever and leave them to it tbh!

It sounds like they're making the best of the situation. Your DH only sees him 4 days a month so of course he's going to want to make the most of it and spend as much time with him as possible. Your SS doesn't have his own room or his own space in the house so they're making use of the summer house where they spend time together, playing darts or whatever workout bothering anyone else in the house.

What would you prefer happened? What other alternatives are there? Ideally he'd have his own room but he doesn't. It must be hard visiting his dad when there's no space for him. I think having the summer house sounds like a good alternative and I imagine at 12 it would actually be kinda cool, like camping out every other weekend. When he hits 14/15 he'll probably want to spend his weekends with his friends and your DH will get dropped, so let them enjoy the time they have together for as long as it lasts. You have EOWE to spend entirely with your DH and 26 days out of the month where SS isn't there.

Not sure what the issue is here. Are you annoyed that they don’t include you? Do you think you should also be spending alone time with your DH during this time? They should definitely be having one on one time where possible. He has very limited contact time as it is and it’s essential for building a good relationship. Also it would stop the SS resenting you if that’s an issue because he can see that he can still have his dad to himself.
i would love it personally!

This.

Yes you're wrong OP.