How do I not sound like the wicked stepmother?

[Antralucinda]

I have 3 adult SC’s and 4 Grandkids. 2 of the 4 GKs are very well behaved & 2 are ‘gentle patented’ and I’ve been told by my DIL ‘we don’t say no’. With the holidays approaching does anyone have any advice for how to ask kids & parents not to break stuff! I always look horrible saying don’t do that please and I know I’m viewed as a b*h (I’ve been told by other family this is the case). My DH takes the same approach but I really hate being viewed like the wicked stepmother. I wish the parents would step in and parent so I don’t have to stop bad behaviour. Any tips on how to approach this - locking things away isn’t an option.

Rescind the invite. For me gentle parenting done correctly is talking through right and wrong and allowing kids to express emotions in a healthy way. Gentle parenting for me isn’t not having a backbone to teach your child right from wrong. I’d happily be a bitch if it meant my home and possessions were not damaged

How old are the brats gentle-parented children?

Parents letting kids break things and not saying no, just go with the stereotype. You have time to get a witches hat and broom off Amazon prime before Christmas.

Well, your husband handles it, surely?

On a basic level put away things you worry may get broken and lock the door of any rooms that you don’t want them to go in if possible. Perhaps plan some activities to
keep kids occupied some of the time, depending upon their ages. They’d tend to be more boisterous if bored. Restrict sugar intake 😉
But then ask for your DH to manage the more
destructive DC.

This isn't gentle parenting; this is permissive, shit parenting.

Gentle parenting only works on gentle children.

i work in a nursery and can honestly tell the children who’s parents never say no and are using the “gentle parenting “excuse rather than being normal parents and setting boundaries,

Great lesson for the kids to learn that Mum and Dad may not say "No" but that other people behave differently.
Go with praising every positive behaviour from every kid, including but not exclusively the gentle parented ones. Focus on the behaviour you want to see more of, we don't know if that is playing nicely, being gentle with possessions, using a bin. What negative behaviours are you anticipating? And what age kids? You can enforce boundaries around your own possessions, for example of they are jumping on the sofa say "name, we sit nicely on the sofa, if you want to jump, you need to go in the garden." If they need supervision send whichever adult should be looking after them at that time!