Really not being a snob, but...

[landj]

My DSD 13 years lives with his mum on a council estate. We have him every weekend. The whole "council" thing has never been an issue. In fact, most of the time it seems the ex has more cash than us! Anyway... On Sunday, in the car, my DSD out of the blue, asks me "Do I live on a council Estate?" I answer yes, but that its a nice estate. He then says "But Im a Chav, arent I" I tried to laugh it off, he is a typical teenage boy into hair gel, designer labels and skating. "But I do have a chavvy name". I tried to talk to him about where this had come from, but he just clammed up. Feel sorry for him if he has only just realised that he does live on an estate and is being teased at school for it. Really really sorry if I sound snobby but Im not sure where to go with this from here.

I think he is obviously being teased at school- you need to speak to his teacher about this.
You need to explain that there is nothing wrong with living on a council estate and that he is capable of anything that anyone else is.
This is the problem with labels like Chav.

I think he is obviously being teased at school- you need to speak to his teacher about this.
You need to explain that there is nothing wrong with living on a council estate and that he is capable of anything that anyone else is.
This is the problem with labels like Chav.

The thing is he is a bit of a "hard nut". Very very confident boy, good looking, popular. Too confident if Im honest. Eg, last week he told me "Im the best looking boy in my school" Unfortunately he was being serious. Remember he's only 13. Even my DH said the other week "He needs knocking down a peg or two". well maybe this is it? My point being, I really cant believe he is being bullied. Maybe he has only just realised?

This so reminds me of my Auntie when we moved to a Cardiff council estate.
My Auntie was disgusted that my parents were bringing us up in such a rough estate (it was very rough in the 1980's even taxi drivers and buses would not go there!), but then she did live in a posh bit of Abingdon in Oxfordshire.
Over the years, it has got much better as people have bought their houses off the council and have actually started to take pride in their houses.
So glad they didn't use words like "chav" when i was young.

Obviously I meant DSS. Not DSD (Duh)

how long has he lived there kids usually know very well where they stand in the order of things re where they live etc id be astonished if he didnt know

The thing is, what we havent told him, is that since my DH got made redundant last year we have been seriously struggling and it looks like we will have to go into counsil housing too. He seems to have this belief that we are a lot better off than his mum. When he needs anything new, he asks us. But we have 2 children under 5, no spare cash at all. I hate money and what it does. Oh well, at least he can pop round more if we end up living next door!

landj........

My DSD1 went through a similar phase a while ago (was a bit younger than 13, but not much).... Was obsessed with not being a chav.... Everything 'Chavvy' had to be avoided at all costs.........

It only lasted a few weeks (but I have to say, it was quite concerning while it was going on) and she hasn't mentioned it since.

Chaviness is to do with mentality not locality. We live on a GLC overflow estate, and it is rough as arse . My children all have a 'chav element', they know how to walk the walk and talk the talk, because if they didn't, they wouldn't survive out there. On the other hand, I'm at uni studying English and my dc's all speak the Queen's English perfectly well when it suits them and have GCSE's aplenty.

No 'chav label' will ever make your dss a chav, only his thinking and behaviour can do that. His cockiness is quite typical of council estate masculinity. You can't be seen to be weak. I hope I'm not offending anyone, or making sweeping generalisations. Poverty / being working class itself is never shameful, only our behaviour is.

Sounds to me like he wants to be a Chav and wanted you to boost him up by agreeing that yes, he is one. Maybe he thinks its cool?

If he skates, he isn't a 'chav'. They don't skate, I would say he's a skater! Much more fun to have around! Bits of broken skateboard everywhere and don't forget the endless trips to a&e

Hmm yes I would say skaters arn't chavs either. These subgroups are rife at the schol where I teach.

Defined by pupils as Chavs, skaters, Goth whatevers, but even I as a dim teacher know that never the twain shall meet betwwen those 2 subgroups. Totally opposite from my limited teenage knowledge. Goths and skaters will mix sometimes.........

I can spell aren't as well........

What defines a "chav" and is it good or bad, in the DSS opinion, or his friends'?

But it seems everyone needs someone to look down on, my BIL is rough as arse and lives on council estate and is on benefits and he rails against "pikeys" constantly

Ho hum

that's right, skaters deffo not chavs.

pikey - someone with less money + inhibitions than me
chav - someone with either less money or less taste than me
posh bitch - someone with more money or taste than me
nice person - A MNetter

see easy

pikey is an abusive word for Traveller, I thought