Step Daughters Wedding

[MotsiBallas]

My step daughter is getting married next year.
What do I wear? It’s a big church wedding with a more informal reception. I don’t want to stand out or look as though I haven’t made an effort. How do stepmums navigate these situations?

Ask how your husband sees your role on the scene? Is her mother coming and is she playing the role of the mother actually, so do you have to go behind the scenes for a while, figuratively speaking

A smart trouser suit?

Wear what any other guest would wear. Maybe ask mum what she's going to wear so you can make sure you don't get the same thing

Yes her mother will be there and is a larger than life character and I’m not her favourite person even after many years. I’ve always been respectful on the parenting side so I’m not super close to my step daughter but im incredibly fond of her, she’s a really lovely girl.
Again at the wedding I don’t want to overstep. I know families have different ways of navigating these situations because each relationship is different.

So go for 'wedding guest' type outfits rather than 'mother of the bride' ones?
That is, dialled down a little but still wedding-y?

When DSS got married I wore a lovely jumpsuit with a bolero jacket and a small fascinatior. I felt it was dressy enough for a family wedding and had loads of compliments . I didn’t know what the mother of the groom was going to be wearing but did know what the brides mother was wearing so knew we weren’t going to clash or be too similar in style.
I went for something that didn’t shout “mother of the bride/groom” outfit but something I felt comfortable wearing.
Maybe try and find out what brides mum is wearing so it’s not too similar

Do you have any nieces or nephews? What would you wear to their wedding? That is probably pretty appropriate.

What time of year is it? And any styles you like? And what’s the budget?

It’s end of May. Ages away I know but I wanted an indication of what was appropriate. Thanks for the suggestions. Asking what her mum is wearing isn’t an option unfortunately.

I would go for a dress. Have a look at Reiss, I’m liking the look of their dresses and they’re dressed up looking without being flashy. I might get makeup done and a blow dry for maximum confidence

Would the stepdaughter be able to tell you the colour at least?

I'm considering this too as dp's daughter is getting married next year.

I'd avoid any hat - probably you weren't considering one anyway but at all the post Covid weddings I've been to, there have been very few hats but the only ones there have been worn by members of the bridal party.

I agree that going a bit duller than you usually would is probably the way to go - something that screams 'I bought this by googling 'wedding guest outfit''. A jumpsuit could be exactly the right call if you would normally wear one, depends a bit on the wedding.

Could you ask the bride if there are any colours you should avoid...? But tbh I would probably go for a knee length dress with a floral pattern, avoiding any suggestion of white or ivory.

I would avoid a jumpsuit unless it's something you normally wear. Just go with the "wedding guest" dress and some nice jewellery

Do ask the bride if you should avoid any colours aside from the obvious ones, chances are that the bridal party will have agreed on colours so she will at least tell you what to avoid. Don't wear anything "sad-looking", so no greys or blacks, and definitely don't wear red.
Other than that, I would go for a nice dress that doesn't scream "I'm here to show off". You'll be fine!

I'd just wear what any wedding guest would wear. I'm planning on getting married soon and my own mum wouldn't wear a traditional MOTB outfit because it's not her style at all. I wouldn't over think it. Wear what you're comfortable in but I'd probably wear a fascinator too. Many guests wear fascinators so it wouldn't be like your trying to out do mum if that makes sense.

Take your step daughter out to lunch & put it as beautifully as you have here. Tell her. You love & support her but want to give her mum
Her place & fall in with any plans, ask her what she's comfortable with & what. Plus to avoid etc.

X

Ask step child what their mum is wearing and then wear something very different.

DSD mum wore a flowery dress and fascinator so I wore a plain jumpsuit with a decorative hair clip.

Surely you would just wear what you would wear at any wedding you were invited to?

I honestly believe you are overthinking this.