Confused

[Confusedrightnow123]

DP and I were together over 3 years. We made a conscious decision that his DDs would not meet me unless we were serious. Their mum had various BF over the last years. She is now good with someone she had a baby with a few weeks ago.
They had met me a couple of times but in May it was made clear we were together. We had a super summer together and a holiday together.
I had a total breakdown 7 weeks ago, peri and work. I said so. Many things I shouldn’t have.
he said, I can’t have relationship with you anymore. I accepted that and went no contact.
But he came back and on Sunday he asked m to meet him and his DDs at the swimming pool.
My head is now messed up. He had said he didn’t want me but why does he still want me in the life of his DDs?

If he wants to try and sort things out he needs to do that without his DDs being there. If you're confused by it all can you imagine how his kids are going to feel. If you're not going to be together then you have no obligation to spend time with his kids and I think that would actually be quite confusing for them. I worry that he may be using any bond you had with the girls as a way to manipulate you and guilt you into meeting him.

This only happened 7 weeks ago and it happened suddenly. It takes time to process a break-up. Maybe he's wondering if ending it was too harsh. Only you know what you said at the time that led to him breaking up with you. Was it forgivable? He does need to be careful with his children though. It's cruel to bring you into their lives if you are not going to be a stable figure in it.

What did you actually say?

Did you reply and ask him why he wants to see you?

Sorry I haven’t been here. I decided to stay off mumsnet as I processed everything and I’ve been reducing my antidepressants as well.
I have been a mess. I can’t even remember the things I said but now we are spending more time together and even had a small holiday overnight at half term. I’ve stopped drinking and am working on this relationship with him and his children.

I love that you’re “working on this relationship with him and his children”. I hope it goes well for you all.