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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Pick up and drop offs

9 replies

Nc101999 · 13/10/2024 17:43

Mum has asked to pick up my DSD 13yo at an hours notice today. We actually had plans and cancelled them as a result. She sees her irregularly. There is a court order in place but mum have never stuck to it and just arranges meet ups as convenient for her. The issue is she's expecting my DH to collect DSD tomorrow (2.5hr round trip) after his work instead of dropping DSD back off home (where we have her FT). Is this acceptable?

OP posts:
roseymoira · 13/10/2024 18:00

What does the court order state about travel?

StudioCreate · 13/10/2024 18:03

Who moved?

LocalHobo · 13/10/2024 18:03

I would say it is unreasonable, but how does DH feel about it? If DSD is desperate to see her Mum you could come over as the 'bad guys' despite her Mums' inconsistencies.

ahemfem · 13/10/2024 18:05

No it's not really. Your DH needs to stick to the court order.

Original poster
Nc101999 · 13/10/2024 18:05

roseymoira · 13/10/2024 18:00

What does the court order state about travel?

I'm not entirely sure. Will check with DH.

To add:
They're actually supposed to DSD have 50/50 but that's never been the case in reality. Some years she's seen DSD just a handful of times. Rarely does she have her overnight. Also doesn't pay a penny in CMS.

@LocalHobo this is exactly my fear. My DH said it was okay and DSD wanted to see her so it isn't my place to interfere. But these incidents are becoming more frequent (contact has increased over the past few months) and I'm struggling with the lack of routine.

OP posts:
ahemfem · 13/10/2024 18:11

Nc101999 · 13/10/2024 18:05

I'm not entirely sure. Will check with DH.

To add:
They're actually supposed to DSD have 50/50 but that's never been the case in reality. Some years she's seen DSD just a handful of times. Rarely does she have her overnight. Also doesn't pay a penny in CMS.

@LocalHobo this is exactly my fear. My DH said it was okay and DSD wanted to see her so it isn't my place to interfere. But these incidents are becoming more frequent (contact has increased over the past few months) and I'm struggling with the lack of routine.

Edited
Show quote history

Good grief. He should go back to court then and get the cms. What's the point of having a court order

Illpickthatup · 13/10/2024 19:27

He shouldn't have cancelled the plans. This just shows his ex it's fine for her to spring last minute plans on you and he'll just drop everything to accommodate her. Why isn't he claiming CMS?

He can't control how his ex shows up to parent but he shouldn't be bending over backwards for her or tolerating her failure to provide financially for her child. People will take the piss if you let them and he's letting her.

xyz111 · 13/10/2024 19:35

He's letting ex get away with whatever she wants. It's not like he's scared he won't see DD anymore as mum doesn't sound too interested. He needs to stand his ground!! Can't be very comforting for DD not knowing what's going on either.

Loadsapandas · 13/10/2024 20:13

How old is DD?

Because while it’s frustrating for the adults I can see myself doing the same as DH for the sake of my child.

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