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Step-parenting

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Can't stand teen SC

55 replies

Bugadugdug · 01/10/2024 07:04

Aware I'm likely to get burnt alive for this but I'm really struggling with teen DSS at the minute. Have known him since he was 6, he's now 15.

I just cannot stand it when he's here. I hate every second and can't wait for him to leave again. The mess, the smell, how inconsiderate he can be. I know it's probably just teenagers but I just hate it.

He'll piss all over the toilet seat and leave it, which my husband refuses to accept is him (miraculously only happens when he's here though, funny). His room absolutely reeks, he's either at home shouting upstairs on his game console waking other young DC up or is out and never let's you know properly whether he'll be home and needing something for tea so meal times are constantly is he, isn't he? There is just extra mess everywhere, shoes dumped right at the door where he took his feet out of them so you nearly break an ankle every time you step into the porch, bikes or scooters dumped allover the garden, cups left to go mouldy in his room, rubbish piled up in his room.

I fucking hate every part of it. When he's not here it's like I just forget he exists and the house is tidy, no ones being disgusting and weeing allover the toilet etc etc.

My husband is so soft. He will never admit that anything is an issue. The toilet thing for example is absolutely fucking gross imo but will he say anything? No. I'm left to and then I look like the nag.

Any time I say something he'll just roll his eyes (DH I mean) like if DSS can't bring plates /cups out of his room without leaving them to go rank then he shouldn't be eating up there, I don't think that's unfair?

Anyway just needed a rant because he's back here tonight and I don't even want to go home from work.

OP posts:
WandaFishy99 · 01/10/2024 16:22

OnaBegonia · 01/10/2024 07:34

This boy is absolutely typical of a teen - stinky, dirty, lazy, selfish etc
why do MN trot this out? I've raised 4 teenagers and there's been no pissy toilet seats, stinking filth. Stop excusing poor behaviour and lazy parenting.

I'd have skinned my DS alive if he'd weed all over the toilet seat. My SIL and her lazy arse DH let their two lads do it and said it was just what boys do. I said they don't in this house! One of them weed on the seat here, I made him go and clean it up and told him he was disgusting. It caused some raised eyebrows

StressedQueen · 01/10/2024 16:59

It's obviously not acceptable behaviour and very few teen boys I know would be permitted to act this way! My son is only 12 but I think I can safely say he'd never act like this. His room isn't always the best but it is messy, not filthy. I don't agree with the thing about bedrooms being allowed to be disgusting. Leaving plates there and not bringing them down is awful and should be addressed. It's a different thing to have a messy wardrobe or not have a made bed, but being unhygienic is another!!

Your husband IS a problem. Leaving you to do all the hard work. It isn't okay at all

beachcitygirl · 18/10/2024 03:30

Just do NOT clean it. If you have a separate loo, keep it for you, lock it.

If not, MAKE your husband do it.
Set rules for the whole house & demand your DH gets onboard.

Your stepson is being a bit of an arse, but he needs parenting.

BriannasBananaBread · 18/10/2024 04:19

Screaming into a games console in the middle of the night waking up others in the house isn't "par for the course" (whoever it was that said that)!

Disconnect the WiFi at littlest ones bedtime OP and don't even give H the password because he'll only go behind your back and reconnect it.

Fieldandfountain77 · 18/10/2024 04:25

Leavesandacorns · 01/10/2024 15:54

You're problem is that your DH is being a rubbish dad. He's not doing his son any favours by failing to parent him.

That being said, it's not fair for any child to have to have an adult who dislikes them in their home (not just finds some of their behaviour annoying, actually dislikes them). And if you live with his dad, your home is his home too.

You and your DH need to have some very serious conversations about his parenting skills and family expectations.

I was just about to post exactly the same thing ^

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