Step-daughter pays rent-should she still do chores?

[MrsP1978]

Help!!! My step daughter (21) pays £200 a month rent- only started 2 months ago! She earns £1200/month. (Works 40hr week) Husband told me that I shouldn't expect her to do many chores as she now pays rent. Is this acceptable? I do all her washing/ironing/food etc. She has the biggest bedroom in the house etc. Am I stressing too much?
My kids are 17,15 and 13 and still in school full time and he says they should all be doing the same amount of chores.

But presumably the OP and her DH both work full time as well, so who is going to do the rest of the work?

It’s not rent, it’s a contribution and probably just covers her food & a share of bills

Is the issue that her dad, your partner, covers majority of household expenses and doesn’t want to do chores?

IMO chores should be shared by all adults (& teens to some extent) but proportionate to ability (which is mainly free time)

If you also work he is being MASSIVELY unreasonable!!!

I never had the responsibility of cooking as a child and now it's the one chore that stresses me out the most. I had to clean and do laundry every week so that part is easy

You all are doing her a disservice by having her not practice these life skills

If she rented a flat with a friend, who does she think would do all of this for her?

Her wages are terrible for 40hrs, is she on less than minimum wage?
Sounds like your husband is a misogynist.
Dictating that you serve his adult daughter and that your own kids perform chores that he does not? Nah.

Thank you for all your replies.
To clear up a few things, her wages are low because she has started a level 3 apprenticeship. She does 32 hours at that. Then 8 hrs at full pay elsewhere.
I get very frustrated!! I work 25 hours a week. Husband works 40 hours.

Hmmm it depends. Do your other kids all do chores? Does your husband?
If so then she absolutely should, but if you do everything for everyone else then
A) you're a mug & need to speak up
B) it would seem like picking on her.

If everyone pulls their weight & she's stopped because she's contributing financially then hell no. You're not her maid.

I pay a shitload of rent and no chore fairy has arrived to alleviate me of the drudgery of dishes and laundry and dusting and cleaning.

Do your husband the favour of showing him this thread, @MrsP1978— and, if necessary, your step-daughter.

They are in need of enlightenment.

She should definitely contribute to the running of the household otherwise you’re potentially going to wind up with a situation, where you have 4 adult children living in the house, costing you both money and you doing everything.

Is your dh usually this good at allocating your time and energy?

I think it's fair she does all personal related chores, washing. Ironing, etc. what chores do the other theee kids have, if any- with 4 kids and you tie I assume there shouldn't be too many left? The adults (and I include her) should do them proportional to their working hours- so if your partner and her work full time and you part time, and your other kids not at all, I'm sure everyone can have something they are responsible for

Of course she should have to.
What a sweet deal he thinks she should have, rent, bills and everything done for her for £45 a week!
And he expects you to be the one to do it no doubt, not himself. If he wants to do the chores for her himself then fair enough but it's very disrespectful to you to think that you should have to do them.

Why has she got the biggest bedroom?

“The adults (and I include her) should do them proportional to their working hours- so if your partner and her work full time and you part time, and your other kids not at all, I'm sure everyone can have something they are responsible for”

Why do I somehow suspect that DH is already doing way fewer chores than OP, on grounds he works fulltime.

OP, if you do do anything like this, don’t forget that your “chores” involve eg giving the kids lifts and encouraging homework if the younger one still needs that.

@SheilaFentiman- agreed. I hope not, but also assumed the other adult in the house does sod all.....

Her wages might be low, but after paying £50 a week for board and lodging, utilities, broadband etc she still clears £1000 a month to spend on herself/save , not many 21 year olds in an apprenticeship have that luxury.

Doing her own washing and ironing etc are not chores. They are basic things that adult people need to do. Why are you still doing this? My mum stopped all thst shit when I was 15.

Why does she have the biggest bedroom?

Yes she should be doing chores! They all should including your husband

She should have to do chores absolutely. She would have to if she lived in her own home/a houseshare. £200 per month isn't very much either, that is £1000 expendable income assuming you don't also have her paying any of the bills/food shopping. I'd be telling her it's £200 plus her share of the food bill and an extra £100 if she's wanting her chores done for her for the month as if she was in a houseshare or on her own and she didn't do her chores she'd have to employ a cleaner, which would cost much more. If she doesn't like it she can find somewhere to rent.

She’s an adult and should share the chores. You are still subsidising her in a big way. If she doesn’t like it she can take her £200 and find alternative lodgings . You will be financially better off too.

She's paying rent.

If she wants a cleaner too then she needs to pay for that. Think going rate is between £15-20ph.

My 22 pays rent. He regularly cooks, hoovers, walks the dog etc. As others have said, she’s not employing you.